© 2026 Duleigh Lawrence-Townshend. All rights reserved. The author asserts the right to be identified as the author of this story for all portions. All characters are original. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. This story or any part thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a review or commentary.

This story was written in a game of Story Cubes. Story Cubes contains nine cubes, the size and shape of dice. Each cube has six icons, one on each side. You roll the cubes and base your story on the nine icons. These were my icons and how I envisioned them.

Cube 1 - A Turtle. Testudo is Latin for turtle (name)

Cube 2 - A line with a point. A weapon, a bow and arrow, a sword.

Cube 3 - A house. Our hero's home, he wants to go home.

Cube 4 - A magic wand. Magic, a mage or two, including our hero.

Cube 5 - An apple. Malum is Latin for apple (Name)

Cube 6 - Comedy & Tragedy Drama masks. That means entertainers.

Cube 7 - A horseshoe magnet. I saw that as romantic attraction to each other.

Cube 8 - A rainbow. I saw that as a magical portal.

Cube 9 - A question mark. Our hero is lost and confused.

Note: This story takes place somewhere else. It's definitely not here. If you know, please tell me where it is.

Catulus Takes a Wife

Catulus Testudo sat in his favorite duck blind. It was getting cold, and he wanted to harvest some ducks before winter set in. The ducks were heading south, and they were spending the night in his pond, so why not? He peered from between the cattails as the ducks began digging in the mud, tails above water, searching for a meal before continuing their journey south for the winter. He already had three fine ducks; a fourth waddling quacker would set him for the entire week.

He carefully drew back his arrow and waited for the duck to go nose down. He didn't have to aim too carefully; these arrows were enchanted, and if it was possible to hit the target, they would never miss. Finally, the mallard went tail feathers up, and he released. Thwack! The arrow hit at the waterline went through the duck, killing it instantly. Catulus rose and stepped into the shallow water to retrieve his duck when there was a tremendous splash and a huge wolf dove into the pond. The wolf grabbed the duck and splashed through the reeds. "You bastard!" shouted Catulus. He scooped up his game pouch and raced off after the wolf. "Give me back my duck!"

Ducks on the pond quacked and squawked their shock and took to the air. Damnit! It's going to take days before any ducks try to settle down on his pond again. The wolf ran up the embankment to where a cloaked and hooded figure that was standing, cloak ruffling in the wind. The wolf laid the duck down at the cloaked figure's feet, and with a puff of smoke and loose fur; the wolf disappeared.

"What a fine duck you brought me," said the cloaked figure to Catulus.

"That was intended for my larder," said Catulus.

"Nonsense! Lupus may be old, but he's no thief. He must have realized that you wanted to give me this duck but you were too shy to mention it." She threw back her hood, and the wind whipped the long silver hair around the face of Granny Malum. Granny was tiny and ancient, and her wrinkled face resembled a dried apple, but for such a powerful witch, she was always nice to Catulus.

"Can I at least have my arrow back?" asked Catulus softly.

"If you roast this duck for me," said Granny Malum with a cackling laugh.

"Follow me," said Catulus, and he picked up the duck and led her back to his farmhouse. She was right; he was shy. Catulus was handsome and muscular; a life of farming the hard soil of the steppes will give a young man muscles, but he hid that under layers of clothing, which at this time of year was smart thinking. His hair was as silver as Granny's hair and always had been. His father joked that when he opened his eyes for the first time and saw Granny looking down at him, the sight of her wrinkled face turned his hair silver with terror.

Of course Catulus' father Commodus had silver hair since the day he was born as well. "I must have seen Granny too!" laughed his father. For some reason, only Commodus could get away with a joke like that; anyone else would spend the rest of their life sitting in the pond, convinced that they were a frog. The thought of that terrified Catulus' mother, Feles, but Granny Malum liked Feles and did all she could to calm the young mother's nerves.

When Catulus was born, Feles had a hard time, but Granny laid her hand on Feles' forehead and sighed. "My favorite granddaughter. Did you know Feles means cat?"

"I did not know that" panted Feles.

"I did," said Commodus as he held his newborn son while Granny healed Feles of her pain. "I suppose that would make this little one Catulus, the kitten."

"That's a fine name for a boy that was born to love," said Granny.

Those were halcyon days, peaceful and prosperous. The kingdom of Cotia was peaceful, and harvests were plentiful. His mother taught Catulus how to cook and can the vegetables they grew. His father taught him to work the land and hunt game. Granny taught him the ways of the witch: to heal and to share. The village folk said Granny Malum was two hundred years old, to which she responded, "I wish. I was in much better shape back when I was two hundred." If a man had mentioned it, she'd give him a saucy wink and say, "When I was two hundred I'd give you a night you'd never forget... if you survived." She was an odd bird, and the only piece of jewelry she wore was a single claw from an enormous beast on a leather thong around her neck.

Those days came to a screeching halt when the rainbow appeared. The rainbow was so bright it was painful to look at, telling all who saw it that it wasn't a natural rainbow made from sunshine and rain. This was known as a wicket - a doorway that only the most powerful mages can craft. As quickly as it appeared, it was gone, but in that instant a band of marauding hunters known as Kiskja poured onto the Cotia steppe and even at a great distance saw the lone mule cart.

As the Kiskja roared across the wide open plains, Commodus and Feles were riding the mule cart back from the town of Vicus, excited that very soon Catulus would have a little sister to love. When Commodus saw the wicket, the rainbow portal, he thought nothing of it. It was rare that it brought anything more than a single traveling mage, and Commodus knew most of the mages. This time he was wrong. The mounted marauders poured through the wicket and swept down on them, and in the blink of an eye, a family was gone.

Their bodies were found in a field, violated in ways that made strong men sick. They were buried where they were found, and a stone marker was erected to memorialize the loss of Commodus and Feles Testudo and their unborn baby.

It took a day for the news to reach Granny; she was up in Petrila curing an outbreak of swamp foot when the news reached her. Granny Malum immediately flew through the night to reach the Testudo farm, where she found a lonely Catulus exhausted from crying for two days straight. It was said that the boy would never smile again. She moved into the farm and raised the boy as her own, and began the long process of teaching the kitten with the broken heart the magic of all things.

Twenty years later Catulus sat looking at the duck he had shot. It was lying on his dining table. Granny Malum got up and began loading the firebox on the big iron stove with wood, closed the door, then sat down at the table as the wood in the firebox burst into flame. Fire is easy, so witches don't depend on matches. "Waiting for that duck to pluck itself?" she asked.

"I will get it," said Catulus, and he reached for the duck. The moment he touched it; the feathers fell off the duck's body. He saved a few of the flight feathers for writing quills and swept the down into a small pile, then threw the rest into the garbage. The fluffy down he was saving for a pillow that was leaking pinfeathers. He hollowed out the duck carcass and placed it in a roasting pan, and waited for the stove to reach the optimal temperature.

"What is it my kitten?" asked Granny Malum as she fingered the huge single claw of some enormous beast that hung on a leather thong around her neck.

"I'm so tired of being alone," he groaned.

"You should go into town and find yourself a young woman and start a family."

"All the eligible women are either married or terrified of me."

Granny Malum sighed. She knew it would come to that. He is probably the most powerful wizard she's ever met, more powerful than his father. She taught him everything she knew: magic that nobody had ever imagined possible, just to keep the boy occupied as he mourned his parents and the sister he never met.

"He has all that love bottled up inside, and it's starting to sour," she thought to herself. Recently, two girls came out to visit him on a bet and found him plowing the field without a mule. A wisp of smoke was all that pulled the plow. They ran off screaming in terror, the stupid little fools. Had they introduced themselves to her kitten, he would eventually have them screaming for more pleasurable reasons. More than likely he'd cook them a fine meal while they recuperated and readied themselves for another round in the hayloft. "Tell me what is bothering you," said the ancient woman.

"I can't control cooking," he growled.

"The combination of meat and heat is magic unto itself, and can't be trifled with," said Granny Malum. "Just be glad you don't have more than three minutes to wait for the stove to heat up. Your magic can control that."

While the duck roasted in the oven, Catulus sliced potatoes and onions and fried them in duck fat on top of the stove. Meanwhile Peri, the house fairy, fluttered down to the table where Grandma Malum poured a freshly brewed cup of tea from a teapot she heated with her hands. "May I have a sip mama?" asked Peri in her high, squeaky voice. You could tell winter was growing close because Peri had put on the clothing that Grandma Malum made for her.

"It's not ready yet," said the old witch. Peri waited patiently for Grandma to add the sugar before leaning over the edge of the cup and taking a sip.

Catulus set out a plate of roast duck and fried potatoes with rich duck gravy in front of Granny and set out one for himself, then sat down to eat. "Kitten, you need to go find your wife and bring her back here."

"Wife? There is no wife for me."

"Eat, you need your strength. She's going to give you the workout of your life," said Granny with a saucy but toothless grin.

"I can't go on like this Grandmother. In town I'm a monster, children run in terror, women scream when they see me..."

"They do not Catulus Livius Testudo!" shouted Granny. It's not magic, but using a child's middle name had a power only a parent would understand. "That is all in your head. Where did this self-loathing come from?" She slammed her wooden fork down in anger. "It didn't come from my side of the family."

Then Peri peeped, "Poppa tried to kill himself mama."

"What?" roared Granny.

"It's true," said the tiny fairy. "He got on his staff and flew straight up, whoosh!"

Granny glared at Catulus and said firmly, "A mage does not kill himself! If there's something that a mage can't live with, the mage changes it! My dear late husband taught me that, and I've lived that maxim my entire life!"

"It doesn't matter, I failed at that too," moaned Catulus. Granny's glare demanded an explanation. "I flew straight up, higher than I ever flew. When I got so high that I was freezing and the stars were starting to shine, I couldn't breathe and I fainted."

"And?" snarled Granny.

"I don't know. I woke up in Matko Evick's cow pasture about two miles yonder," said Catulus, staring at his plate. "I don't know what happened to my staff... It's probably still up there."

"That was your great-great-grandfather's staff! He made it ages ago from wood he found in far off uncivilized lands!"

With a growl, Catulus rose, stepped outside, and shouted the incantation "Redi huc deorsum!" A few minutes later he re-entered the cottage with the frost covered staff and offered it to Granny.

The ancient woman inspected the staff urgently, like a mother would inspect a lost child for injury or signs of foul play. This was the sign that Granny had been waiting centuries for. "Now you know, your magic will protect you even when you're not conscious. We will speak no more of that, and you've got a journey coming up. Eat up!"

"I'm not going anywhere," muttered Catulus.

"Of course you are," said Granny Malum. The issue was already settled in her mind; he just had to finish dinner and pack. "There's a pretty woman out there waiting for you. You're going to go meet her, introduce yourself, sweep her off her feet, and bring her back here."

"This is my home," said Catulus sternly. "What kind of man would I be to leave my home on some fool's errand?"

"You are last in a long line of Testudos. The silver haired men of the Testudo family stood proud on this land. They stood for honor, friendship, and love. A man that a woman could count on for help at any time. Do you even know what Testudo means?"

"It means turtle. The slowest creature in the world," grumbled Catulus.

"When they are in their element, they are graceful and beautiful swimmers, and fierce hunters. Their shell is their home and wherever their heart takes them, they are home. Now finish up, you have a bit of a walk ahead of you.

Catulus heard a noise and looked over at the stove, and there was Lupus, Granny Malum's imaginary wolf. It sat there glaring at Catulus, as if waiting for Catulus to step outside so he could move in. "There's a woman out there for me?"

"She's waiting for you... she just don't know it yet," said Granny happily as she finished her dinner. "Don't worry, she will be attracted to you."

"I don't want to use witchcraft to bind a woman to me," groused Catulus. "That never works."

"No, this will be true love, the most powerful magic on all of the world." She spread her hands wide and gave Catulus a wide-eyed smile. He could see her merry emerald green eyes glittering in the lamplight.

She seemed all too silly to Catulus. "You're getting daft in your old age," said Catulus with a laugh.

"There you go! Now you're sounding like your father, and a good man he was. You have the makings of being a better man than your dear father," said Granny Malus happily. "You keep that smile, my kitten. It will melt her panties."

"What?" said Catulus with a laugh.

"If I can't joke about love with my own grandson..."

"Wait, you're really my grandmother?"

"Aye," she said with a nod and shuffled off to give her scraps to Lupus. "Why do you think you call me Granny?"

"Everyone calls you granny."

"I've been around for a long time, this is a small town, and my children have been very prolific. I suppose I'm related to most everyone in Vicus. But the silver hair of the Testudo clan, that's a sign of true kinship," said Granny as she cleared Catulus' plate.

"I thought your hair was silver because you're old..." He saw the warning glare in her eye and finished, "...er than me."

She laughed as she once laughed at her upstart progeny, Commodus. "Only you and your father can get away with speaking to me like that. Others may find themselves on hands and knees in the cow pasture, eating grass and mooing. Now gather up your pack, your bow and quiver, and your grandfather's sword, and your staff; it is time."

"Am I going to romance this woman, or hunt her down?" groused Catulus as he shouldered his pack.

"A little of both, I dare say," said Granny Malum as she studied the sword that Catulus took down from over the fireplace, then handed it back to him. "You will chase your future bride until she turns around and catches you."

"I shouldn't take Marauder's Bane with me. It's been passed down from generation to generation of Testudo men..."

"A sword is meant to be used," said Granny Malum.

"I'm a mage..." started Catulus. He was going to add to that, but Granny held her hand up.

"So is that sword, and so are your arrows." She laid a withered hand on his shoulder and said, "Be off, your bride is waiting. I will watch your home for you. It will be warm and dry when you and your wife return."

With a muttered thank you, Catulus stepped out into the cold, dark autumn night. The wind had picked up and blew the dried autumn grass. The moon was high in the sky, and he could clearly see the constellation of Draco, the dragon, whose nose always points north. He was the ruler of the northern sky, and at this time of year he was almost directly overhead. Come winter, his nose will touch the northern horizon.

He turned back to the cottage door and called out to Granny, "How will I know it's her?"

"You'll both know... you'll feel the attraction to each other; all you have to do is submit to the attraction." She made an odd gesture, and everything lit up as if the sun had suddenly popped into the sky. Catulus turned and there was a wicket, the bright rainbow hued portal. He had never been through one and had never conjured one, although he knew how. He's seen them before, but never this close. Suddenly he was drawn through the wicket and tossed to the ground.

The sun was high in the sky, and the wicket was gone. Catulus found himself on the bank of a mountain stream that gurgled and splashed as it wound down the mountain. He was surrounded by towering trees, the likes of which he had never seen. They didn't have proper leaves but odd, pointy green pins. He marveled at the trees; they grew straight for over thirty feet. Any branches they had were dead for lack of sunlight, then their tops were covered with branches covered with green pins. "Amazing," he gasped. He could build an entire barn with just five of those trees.

The sun was high in the sky and the air was warm, which told Catulus, with his minimum of schooling, that she had thrown him far on the other side of the world. He's going to have to figure out where he is so he can properly cast a wicket and return home once he finds his bride.

Catulus followed the stream down the side of the mountain and saw many marvels that he's never seen before. For one, mountains. If pine trees didn't surprise him enough, mountains completely shocked him. When he finally got to see the mountain range in the background, it reminded him of a rough day on an ocean, frozen in time.

He was able to shoot a couple of partridges, which he had never seen before, and dubbed them wild chickens. He roasted them on a fire that night as he scanned the stars, trying to find Draco, but the trees blocked his view. He silently considered his options when he heard something sniffing loudly, and it was getting closer. He now saw that he needed that sword, but it was lashed to his pack about ten feet away.

"Marauder," Catulus said under his breath, and Marauder's Bane slipped from its sheath and sailed across the campsite and into Catulus' hand. Then something huge and hairy sprang from the shadows. It roared and snarled; its voice echoed off the mountains. Then it leaped, and Catulus was ready, a mithril cutlass in one hand and a ten-inch dagger in the other. The beast came at him with enormous claws and even bigger teeth. Catulus stabbed and slashed, which probably angered the beast, but that's all he knew. He was a farmer, not a warrior; to him this cutlass and dagger were tools, not weapons.

Soon Catulus was bleeding from a half dozen slashes that the beast took at him, and he wasn't sure if he was going to survive this fight. But then a gentle voice entered his mind; it was a woman's voice. "Take your time, look for an opening, then strike with the sword, defend with the dagger."

Everything seemed to slow down; the moon came out from behind a cloud, and he could see the beast. The beast reared up in the moonlight, and it was huge, easily ten feet tall. The beast glared at Catulus and stepped toward him, planting its foot squarely in Catulus' campfire. It roared in pain as the voice called, "Strike NOW!" and he did. Driving his blade toward where he thought the beast's heart would be. He didn't need to know; Marauder's Bane knew and dove straight toward the bear's heart. Catulus remembered praying that the beast would only have one heart, but Marauder's Bane knew, for it too was a mage. He must have struck true because the enormous beast dropped to the ground, dead.

"You should always carry me at your side," said the mysterious woman's voice.

"Who was that?" called Catulus, but there came no answer.

He sat panting in exhaustion. What the hell was that thing? Are there more? He's got to get off this mountain fast. He fell asleep leaning against a tree with his hands on the sword, and when he woke in the morning, the beast was still there. Then he noticed the claws. Granny Malum had a claw like that on a leather thong, and she wore it as long as he knew her. When he asked where it came from, she'd simply say, "A bear."

"Oh grandma! There's no such thing!" laughed little Catulus, and she never said how she got it.

Catulus, stiff from sleeping up against a tree, studied the enormous creature, still lying dead in front of him. Then he saw the enormous claws on the creature; they were the same as the claw that Granny wore around her neck. "They really do exist," gasped Catulus. Then with his dagger he chopped a few claws off the bear. His first thought was to give one to Granny Malum when he got back so she'd have two. That would give him one claw to wear, and a few more he could sell.

Catulus hoisted his pack and set off, following the stream. At one point he chopped down a young ironwood sapling and trimmed its slim trunk to serve as his walking stick. As he followed the stream, he was sure he would soon find someone who could tell him where he was. He followed the stream all day until he came to a wide valley where men were all over the sides of the valley. At one point he chopped a young sapling down and trimmed its slim trunk to serve as his walking stick. It was stripped of trees, and tents were everywhere. Men were mostly digging or splashing water in pans in the stream. He came up to an odd little fellow who sat at a table selling items like shovels, picks, saws, and large round pans. "What is going on here?" asked Catulus.

"Pray tell, good sir, from whence does that curious accent of yours originate?" asked the fellow.

"The kingdom of Cotia. My farm is just east of the town of Vicus," said Catulus, hoping the odd fellow would be familiar with the area.

"Cotia, say you? That doth lie a prodigious distance hence."

That was fine with Catulus, at least he was on the same continent... maybe. He just had to keep asking. "What is going on here?"

"Gold strike! A veritable endless supply! 'Tis the richest lode seen this age."

"You guys trying to put the alchemists out of work?" asked Catulus.

"Alchemy? Pray, what drollery is this?" said the odd man with the table full of wares.

Catulus shook his head, his silver hair waved as he did so. "I need some of that leather thong, about a yard worth. How much for that?"

"A mere quarter-ounce of auriferous dust will seal your purchase," the purveyor of wares said with a smile.

"Excuse me a moment," said Catulus. He crouched down and scooped up a handful of sand and dirt, then stood up and squeezed it tight and muttered the alchemical incantation. The sudden burst of warmth in his hand told him it was a success. He poured a handful of gold dust onto the odd man's scales. "How much will that get me."

The odd man looked at the bonanza and panted. That had to be a quarter pound of gold! "Pray, accept the entire roll."

Catulus shrugged and rolled off a few yards of leather thong and sliced it off with his dagger, then grabbed a tarp. "Mind if I...?"

"Take it kind sir and fare thee well!"

Now he had a tarp so he could sleep off the ground or make a tent. He continued to follow the stream downhill, but the road along the stream bed was clogged with miners heading up to the valley that was being stripped for grains of gold. The banks of the stream were lined on both sides by men crouching shoulder to shoulder, their pans swirling stream water and streambed in the mad search for gold. Catulus had to stay away from the stream, so he walked a parallel route higher up the side of the mountain. It took three days of hiking to reach the foothills. He spent his time hunting and collecting edible plants as he went, and during his rest breaks he carved symbols into his staff, the same symbols he remembered from his grandfather's staff. As he stepped out of the woods on the third day, he saw a small city sat on the plain spread out below him, and he could see the night sky.

He looked up as the stars came out, and his stomach fell. Draco, his direction finder should have his nose firmly in the north, but as he came up over the horizon, Draco was directly overhead... it was summer! Granny Malum didn't just send him to a different location; she sent him to a different time! "Oh no. Oh dear gods no, YOU BITCH!" he shouted.

A wicket will send someone through time, but only backwards. You can't go forward in time through a wicket because the location does not exist yet. Not a year, not a minute, not a second, but you can go back as far as you want because the past exists.

His home was gone to him. She had to send him back at least twenty-seven years ago because young Catulus never met himself returning from his journey. He sat on the side of the hill, weeping in frustration. "That bitch..." he said, cursing the only person left in the world that he loved.

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"Trim up the hair, and shave the beard," said Catulus to the barber, handing him a small nugget of gold that ten minutes ago was a pip of gravel. Like the miners up in the Great Khase Mountains, Shibu City was mad about gold. Catulus rarely used his alchemical magic, but he needed gold. Everything in this town was paid for in gold, but nobody will pay your wages in gold.

"Pray, venerable sir, to what do we owe this auspicious occasion?" asked the barber.

"There's a show in town tonight," said Catulus. He didn't mind being called old timer, nobody would believe he was twenty-seven years old with that full head of silver hair and a long silver beard.

"Pray tell, art thou bound to view Lady Elma?" asked the barber.

"Who?"

"Elma Terzi, she doth grace the stage as the show's brightest luminary, an actress, a songstress, and a dancer of renown. She is their headlining marvel," gushed the barber.

"No, I'm there to see the Great Crescendo," said Catulus.

"Who?"

"He's the magician in the troupe. I bumped into him in the bar and he was blowing gas about magic, so I called him a half talent hack."

"Pray, what transpired thereafter?" asked the barber.

"I told him if he could stump me he could have this coin," and a beautiful ancient golden coin appeared in Catulus' hand. It had been in the Testudo family for over two hundred years. Catulus carried it always around the farm as a good luck charm; he was now glad he didn't leave it in his house.

"That coin, I daresay, is a mere counterfeit," said the barber.

A shocked Catulus calmed himself. This ancient King of Cotia $200 gold piece a counterfeit? His great-great-grandfather earned it himself for gallantry in the War of 1347. It's said that Granny Malum was there when he received the coin. "And how did you tell?" asked Catulus.

"The date inscribed upon that coin doth read In the Year of Our Sovereign Lord, 1347, whilst the present year is, in fact, 1136," said the barber with a laugh.

"The Great Crescendo didn't notice that," said Catulus with a laugh of derision, but he slipped the coin back into the hard leather case and put it back in his pocket. Catulus went silent as the barber went on about the beautiful, multi-talented Elma Terzi in that funny way of speaking everyone had. Four hundred years... Granny Malum sent him back four hundred years! Four hundred and eight, to be exact. How is he going to get this bear claw necklace to her now?

"Pray tell, art thou in good health, my esteemed companion?"

"Oh, yes, I'm just homesick for the old farm."

"This grand city life sits uneasily with us humble tillers of the soil, doth it not?" asked the barber.

"You are a farmer too?"

"Indeed, I was, and in my fields I did cultivate maize, beetroots, cabbages, and the humble potato."

"I raised sheep, goats, corn, potatoes, and had an orchard of apples," and the conversation went on through a shampoo, trim, shave (leaving Catulus with a sharp-looking mustache and goatee) and a back massage.

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Catulus had a front-row seat, and the barber was right: Miss Terzi was an astounding singer. He didn't understand the language she was singing in, but he didn't need to know. She had long, jet black hair that cascaded down her back in waves; her waist was tiny, her hips round, and her breasts were perfection. It was probably all done with "crafty underpinnings" as Granny Malum would say, but Catulus enjoyed the show. She had been out on the stage twice so far tonight, first as a brunette for a dramatic reading, and second with jet black hair to sing something she called an "aria." She glanced right at Catulus and smiled, then dashed off stage as the announcer stepped out again.

The drummer in the band tapped out mysterious tribal rhythms, the player with the recorder played a melody that evoked snake charmers as the announcer took a deep breath and announced, "And now, from fabled lands afar, I present to thee a conjurer of unparalleled skill, the master of the arcane arts, the Great Crescendo!"

Crescendo came out in a cape and a fancy, tall hat that, up in the kingdom of Cotia, was called a tree stump. It had a wide, flat brim and a cylindrical crown. Most farmers in Cotia beat the crown into odd shapes that allowed the rain to run off. He took off his gloves and tossed them in the hat, then sat the hat on a small table brim up, then did some simple sleight of hand tricks and some tricks with metal rings that appeared to be solid. He linked them, unlinked them, and suddenly the two rings became three.

"Might I entreat a willing soul from amongst the assembled throng to lend their assistance in the performance of this next illusion?" He pointed at Catulus and said, "Pray, sir, with your venerable silvered locks, wouldst thou be so kind as to offer thine assistance? I bid thee, ascend the stage forthwith."

Catulus climbed onto the stage and saw Miss Elma watching from the side with a coy smile on her face. Now she had blond hair. "Pray sir, do you have the golden sovereign on your person?" said the Great Crescendo under his breath.

"You let me worry about the coin; you just concentrate on earning it."

"Pray tell, from whence do you hail, good sir?" asked the Great Crescendo in his stage voice.

"I'm from a tiny kingdom in the north named Cotia."

"And what are your impressions of Shibu City?" asked the Great Crescendo.

Catulus knew enough to not insult the local crowd. He had seen better cesspits than the ramshackle boomtown of Shibu City, but he wasn't here to make more than one enemy. "The last time I saw Cotia it was centuries behind Shibu City." It was the truth, in a way, and the audience went wild.

The Great Crescendo held up his hat and showed the audience. "Completely empty!" he cried. "Pray, would you concur, my good fellow?"

Catulus looked into the hat and said, "It's hard to tell, let me get this out of the way," and he pulled a live rabbit out of the hat. "No, there's still something in there," and he then reached in and pulled out a grown cat. Then, in frustration, he held it upside down and shook it, and three kittens tumbled out. The audience was rolling in laughter as Catulus handed the hat back to The Great Crescendo and said, "Yes. It's empty."

The Great Crescendo was enough of a magician to know he was being played with by a highly skilled mage, and he was enough of a showman to know they had a good thing going. Continuing with his act, The Great Crescendo reached into the hat and pulled out a stuffed rabbit toy that made a playful squeak. The audience was laughing so hard that they couldn't breathe.

"Let me put back my mess," said Catulus, and he put the rabbit, cat, and kittens back into the hat and handed it to The Great Crescendo, who looked in shock into an empty hat. He was skilled enough to act shocked, and he held the hat up to the audience, who went wild at the sight of an empty hat. The Great Crescendo turned to Catulus, who was juggling three large metal rings. "I'm sorry, is this yours?" said Catulus, and he stepped away, and the three rings kept juggling without his help. The Great Crescendo stepped up to the rings and took over juggling and did quite well, and soon he and Catulus were standing on opposite sides of the stage juggling rings and tossing them back and forth.

Finally, the band played a fanfare, and the two magicians bowed to thunderous applause. As Catulus was about to leave the stage, Elma stepped out and took his hand. "A waltz with me for your hard work sir magician?"

"Fare enough wages, Miss Terzi," said Catulus with a bow. It had been a long time since he last danced with Granny Malum, but she insisted on teaching her grandson how to dance. It made the cold winter days go by more quickly.

The band struck up a sweet waltz, and Catulus led Elma around the stage. "For a magician, your terpsichorean skills are most admirable," said Elma slyly.

"Thank you, but I'm not a magician. A magician uses sleight of hand to perform his art. I'm a mage."

"A real wizard?" she gasped.

Was she mocking him, or was she surprised? Catulus couldn't tell, but then, she was an actress and she could be going over tomorrow's lunch menu in her head. "I don't use the term wizard; I prefer mage or magus."

"In any event, you possess a considerable popularity. I am quite assured that the performance on the morrow's eve shall be exceedingly well-attended, owing to the anticipation of your presence."

"I don't know, I need to get back to Cotia. I've been away from my farm too long."

"Cotia? That journey doth span a quarter of a year. Pray, what hath carried thee so far from thine abode?" asked Elma and Catulus got the feeling she was being sincere.

"I'm looking for a wife. I don't have much, but I need someone to love and to share what I have with her."

Elma actually looked startled. The thought of traveling so far to find a wife. And he didn't just say wife, he could buy one from a marriage broker. He said he wanted someone to love. She gave a soft whimper, then said, "I bid thee good fortune in thy pursuit and your journey."

Did she sound sad by his declaration that he wanted to get back to traveling? All that Catulus could think of was her smell. Not just the perfume she wore, but the gentle perfume she gave off, the scent of a vital woman. She clearly wasn't the wife he was looking for. Most times an actress in these traveling troupes was a prostitute, but she was a good start in his search.

All too soon the song was over, and she whispered, "now we bow to the audience." They faced the audience and bowed, their hands still joined. They were both reluctant to break contact, but finally they did. They turned to face each other, and while Elma curtsied, Catulus bowed to her, and then he left.

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"Where did that magician go?" demanded Karl Saar, the manager of The Fortune Dwight Williamson Entertainment Troupe.

"He's a mage," said Elma as she massaged her aching feet. As usual, the headliners, and management were gathered in her dressing room after the show for coffee and maybe a chance to see her legs, or possibly her breasts.

"A what?"

"A mage," said Reed Dudley, AKA The Great Crescendo. "Mine art is but stagecraft, legerdemain, mere trickery. His, however, is REAL magic."

"What do you mean REAL magic? I don't care if he does REAL calligraphy," roared Karl in his northern accent. "The audience loved him! And besides, your hair! It's perfect for the dance number with him!"

"Mine own natural color lends me a most unwelcome air of advanced years," groaned Elma, as she pulled off her blond wig to reveal her silver tresses. "Divers persons did deem him, what's his name, the turtle guy, advanced in years." Then Elma dropped the accent. "He's nearly the same age as me."

"If we pouf up yer 'air a treat, they'll think it a wig to match 'is own, bless 'is 'eart!" said Aunt Edna, the head of make-up. "It shall look spiffing under the lamps, just like a proper princess, don'tcha know."

"What do you mean Turtle guy?" demanded Karl.

"His surname, Testudo, it doth signify a turtle," said Reed.

"I don't care if it means gopher, go find him! Sign him! And bring him back!"

Reed Dudley took off his fake beard and wig and was unrecognizable to the public; then he went out to find something to eat. At the local tavern, they had a joint of bacon, sliced, on bread with gravy. It was delicious, and he was nearly finished when he saw Catulus emerge from the card game at the back end of the tavern. Catulus walked past him. Reed finished his mug of ale quickly and followed Catulus out into the dirt street, where he walked to the edge of town, then headed off into the forest. Reed watched him step through a line of bushes and disappear, so Reed followed Catulus through the bushes and found Catulus sitting by a fire in a cozy campsite. He was carving complex designs into a large wooden pole. "Dost thou dwell amidst the verdant woods?"

"I can't afford a hotel," said Catulus without looking up from his carving.

"The audience, they were quite taken with our performance. Mister Saar extends an invitation for you to join our company."

Catulus wasn't paying attention as he tried to remember how the scroll on his grandfather's staff looked. Whenever she looked at the staff, Grandma Malus would get a misty look on her face and a far off smile, so he had to get it right. Somehow he will see her again. If she were as old as some people claim, she's there, somewhere in Cotia, maybe in the village of Vicus. Won't that be a surprise! "Hi grandma! I'm here from the year 1,544!"

"I'm no actor," Catulus finally said to The Great Crescendo.

"We desire not an actor, for you were perfection itself as you stood." Reed sat down next to Catulus and said, "And your terpsichorean performance with Miss Terzi was, in sooth, quite enchanting. 'Twas akin to discovering a diamond amidst unrefined stone. Pray tell, what manner of sculpture doth engage your hand?"

"I'm trying to re-create my grandfather's staff. He was a mage too. All the men in my family and most of the women were magi." He stopped carving, looked at Reed and said, "I'm here trying to find a wife, not prance around a stage."

"Verily, my good fellow, a more advantageous locale to encounter a lady than upon the stage doth scarcely exist. From such a vantage, one is presented with a veritable panoply of feminine acquaintance," gushed Reed. "And we shall be embarking to Cotia on this tour!"

Catulus thought about it as he carved, then said, "Let me think about it, and I will give you my decision tomorrow at noon. Meet me at the Nugget Saloon."

"Until then!" said Reed as he rose to head back to the caravan where he slept.

Catulus carved until the campfire was too dim to see his work, then he sheathed his dagger, stripped off his clothes and went to the stream to wash before laying down. Then he tied his long silver hair back with a silk ribbon that he "borrowed" from Granny Malum and lay down to dry off. He looked up at the stars wheeling around over his head as the years jumbled and tossed about in his mind. He was born in 1517 on the Balbinus calendar. In 1522, he became an orphan and inherited the family farm. Twenty-two years later, in 1544, he was sent back to 1136... four hundred and eight years... and dropped God knows where, but they're still on the Gordian Calendar in this era... so on the Balbinus calendar it's... 1144? 1128? He slammed his fist on the ground in frustration. THIS is why he never messes with wickets. ESPECIALLY with time involved!

He tried to calm down, but he could still remember the scent of Elma. Even under her heavy dress, he could feel her warmth. She appeared to be tiny and frail, but in his arms he could feel her inner strength. She's probably a real fireball. His cock hardened for the first time since he was yanked back 400, 408, or 416 years, depending on which calendar you use... the memory of Elma in his arms, those pretty eyes, that sweet smile, that magical voice. "I'm never going to get sleep like this," thought Catulus. He wrapped his hand around his cock and began stroking, and as he stroked, he thought of her. It didn't take him long at all. Before he knew it, he was arching his back as the pleasure grew to an excruciating point. Suddenly he came, his spend shooting into the night air and spattering down on his chest, spurt after spurt. Relief crashed over him as he came in a long series of shuddering waves of release, and soon he was able to relax.

Aw shit. Now I have to go wash up again.

In Shibu City, Elma was having problems sleeping too. How could she be so worked up over some chawbacon picked out of the audience? Ok, so he was a lot younger than he looked, and his hands were strong and calloused from years of hard work... not weak and soft like the mayors and councilmen she has to meet at every backwoods village they play in. Unbidden thoughts of what those hands could do to her body if they were given free rein over her filled her head, causing her nipples to harden. His fingers were long and thick, and the girls say that means his cock would be long and thick as well.

Her own hands were busy that evening; one hand slid down between her thighs and traced up the sensitive skin to her pussy, where she brushed her lower lips with her fingertips. Would he touch me there? Then the question that really intrigued her rose unbidden. Would he kiss me there? The moment her fingers touched her clit the explosion started. It came so fast and so powerfully; she had to cover her mouth with her free hand so her squeaks of passion didn't wake Aunt Edna in the lower bunk. It seemed to go on forever, wave after wave of blessed relief.

After that, Elma slept peacefully. She dreamed of life on the farm when she was a little girl tending the chickens and sheep until she was snatched away in the middle of the night, and her hopes for a happy life with her critters died.

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Catulus agreed to the terms of the contract with The Fortune Dwight Williamson Entertainment Troupe. He would be a second fiddle comic relief to The Great Crescendo, and a dance partner with Lady Elma Terzi. He would practice with the band and Lady Elma on new dance routines, and when they came into a new town, he would keep a low profile as the headliners met the local dignitaries.

Catulus didn't mind so much; it beat walking all the way back to Cotia. He just hoped that his great-great-great-great-grandfather had the farmhouse built. The first town they came to was Zikne, followed by Chorfu, then Pyria. All were towns in the foothills of the Great Khase Mountains, and they were all affected by the gold bug and mining craze.

Next was Esstrup, another gritty mining town, but this wasn't a boom town; they've been hauling coal out of the ground for decades. The buildings were mostly brick, and the streets were graveled with hard cinders. The air was thick with coal smoke, and every day was hazy. It gave Catulus, who had been raised on fresh air, clean water, and sunshine, a horrible cough. They started the main show on the first night with Catulus playing the rube from out of town.

"Pray tell, from whence do you hail, good sir?" asked the Great Crescendo in his stage voice.

"I'm from a tiny kingdom in the north named Cotia."

"And what are your impressions of the queen city of Esstrup?" asked the Great Crescendo.

"It's a..." then Catulus broke into a horrible coughing fit. He finished his coughing fit, doubled over, and he looked up at a shocked Great Crescendo. "It's an acquired taste."

The audience roared with laughter. Apparently, coughing fits among newcomers were not unusual. Finally, they finished the magic act. It was the same as in Shibu City, with the addition of more juggling. Juggling is easy when you can levitate smaller items. Another change was that he would step backstage after the magic act was complete and pull on a tuxedo. As he was changing, Miss Terzi would step out on stage and sing a short song with the band. She wasn't wearing one of her wigs; Aunt Edna "fluffed out" her silver tresses, which looked incredible with the black dress she was wearing.

Standing alone on a night such as this...

Looking for one I could hold close and kiss.

I'm not asking for a crown or a throne...

I just don't want to be alone.......

As she held that note in the word alone, the band stopped. Elma let her shoulders droop in defeat and sadness, then Catulus stepped out on stage in a black tuxedo. His hair, which was completely unruly for the magic act, was combed back and held back with a black silk ribbon. Wordlessly he walked up to Elma and bowed. She responded with a curtsey. He held his left hand out to her, which she took in her right hand. He gently put his hand on her hip, and she put her hand on his shoulder, and suddenly the band started a joyful refrain of the song she had been singing. And off they went, dancing to the wild cheers of the audience.

Even their fellow performers were shocked. They lined the left and right backstage areas to watch as Catulus and Elma danced flawlessly and joyfully. It was a dance they were born to perform. "Find that wife yet?" asked Elma with a devilish grin.

"No. It's a big town, I may need help looking," Catulus replied.

"Let's go look after the show," said Elma with a laugh.

Finally, they came to the last stanza, and they danced close to the side curtains. Catulus stepped away from Elma and disappeared behind the side curtain, leaving her alone on stage to sing the ending line.

I just don't want to be alone.......

She was supposed to look sad and slump in defeat and loss; instead, Elma clutched her hands under her chin and sighed in joy. The audience went crazy and gave her a standing ovation. She basked in the applause, then turned to the side and pulled Catulus out on stage with her, and the audience broke into cheers of "BRAVO!"

This time Catulus was invited to the reception at the Red Velvet Saloon with the Mayor, the owner of the Carbon Queen Mine, the owner of the Anthracite Abyss Mine, and the head of the city businessmen's association. Each man vied for Elma's attention, but somehow Catulus always seemed to be able to get between Elma and the man who was ready to pounce.

"So, I gather, sir, that you serve as both her Terpsichorean collaborator and her protector?" asked Mayor Clouseau.

"Isn't that what dancing partners do? Keep an eye on each other?" said Catulus.

"Pray, what if her affections inclined her to tread a measure with another?" asked Michel Poullain of the Esstrup Businessman's Association. As far as Catulus was concerned, this man was a vile hound, and he would chop off Michel Poullain's hand if he touched Elma.

"Then I'm sure she would tell me that she was going to dance with someone else," said Catulus in a gruff tone.

"Pray, what could possess her to do such an act?" scoffed Michel.

"It would serve several functions, one being that her partner would know that she will be dancing with another fellow of her own free will," said Catulus. "This, of course, would save that fellow's life." The moment he said that, there came a tremendous burst of thunder from outside.

"Wouldst thou truly dispatch a gentleman merely for the favor of a dance with Miss Terzi?"

"For forcing her to do something against her will," said Catulus. "And there's worse things than dying."

"Such as?" asked the Mayor.

"Spending the rest of your life standing outside naked because you think you're a tree."

"Oh bravo!" cried Thierry Delon, of the Carbon Queen Mine. "It's time that men stepped forward and treated women with respect!"

"Indeed, I am inclined to concur," said Sir Hayden Richardson of the Anthracite Abyss Mine. "It doth seem a lamentable scarcity of gentlemen possessed of proper respect doth plague this modern age."

They took their seats at a table, and Catulus sat back and let Elma talk with the men. Three of the four were very respectful of Elma, but the fourth, Michel Poullain of the Esstrup Businessman's Association, clearly wanted to take Elma to a hotel room for the night. His advances grew more crude by the minute and his insults toward Catulus more vulgar. "Catulus, that means pussy doesn't it?"

"It means kitten, my late mother was named Feles, which in the old language means cat. I'm proud to carry her legacy."

Ignoring what Catulus said, Michel pressed on with another insult. "Testudo... does that mean testicle? No, it's nothing that manly. It means tortoise, doesn't it? A slow, stupid tortoise."

"No, in the old language it means Turtle, the aquatic creature. The elegant swimmer."

"And let me guess, Livius, it means lizard, a spineless lizard, a worm with legs."

"Livius was my father's name," snarled Elma. She turned to Catulus and said, "Could you stop him for me?"

"How would you prefer?"

"Turn him into a blue bird!" she said with an evil grin. "That would be fitting."

"Yes but not entertaining, he would merely fly away." He looked at the smirking politician and said, "For the next fifteen minutes, Mister Poullain, you are a blue bird."

Michel Poullain dropped his fork and looked around the saloon, then said, "Chirp." He got up and paced the saloon nervously. Someone entered, and Michel saw the door open, and he dashed for the door and ran out into the night.

"Where did he go?" asked Thierry Delon.

"Obviously, he went out to look for a nest or bird house to spend the evening," said Elma with a laugh.

"So you are a hypnotist?" asked Mayor Clouseau.

"Yes, but not much of one. Mister Poullain made me look better than I am because he was easily susceptible to suggestion." Catulus tried to be humble mostly because he didn't want to terrify the leadership of the town. If they became terrified of Catulus, they could ban their troupe of entertainers from these isolated towns that were aching for entertainment.

Walking back to their hotel, they walked hand-in-hand. They've been doing that for the past week if nobody was watching. It shocked Catulus that someone so beautiful would walk hand-in-hand with him. She was small and slim, but she had a beautiful hourglass shaped figure. Her breasts were large for her frame, even though one would fill Catulus' hand with ease. Her waist was narrow and her hips wide with a beautiful round ass. Her complexion was endearing also; her skin was dark gold, like she spent the day working in the field with Catulus, and it made her silver hair shine even brighter. "Have you found a wife yet?" asked Elma, startling Catulus out of his reverie.

"I think may have a prospect, I'm not sure."

"What are you going to do?" asked the beautiful singer.

"I'm going to do what my grandmother suggested. I'm going to chase her until she turns around and catches me."

Elma had a beautiful, melodious laugh, and it rang through the night. "Do you always do what your grandmother tells you?"

"Of course I do, she's a more powerful wizard than I am. Actually I love my grandma. When my family was killed she came and raised me and kept the farm going. I love my farm, but at night it gets so lonely with just a house fairy to talk to. Lately Grandma only visited once or twice a month for some reason which made it worse. I actually tried to end it all but in the end my magic prevented me from hurting myself."

"What did your grandmother do?"

Catulus stopped and held Elma's hands as they stood in the moonlight. "It was weird. It was like she was waiting for me to do that. I didn't tell her but my house fairy did. She finished her dinner and said, It's time for you to take a wife and she gave me a sword and bow, then set up a wicket that sent me to the mountains."

"That's it?" demanded Elma. "She didn't say anything about m- uh, your wife?" Elma screamed to herself: I almost said ME!

"I asked Grandma how I would know and she said, 'You'll both know... you'll feel the attraction to each other; all you have to do is submit to the attraction.' Then suddenly I was on a mountain with a bear." He pulled the bear claw necklace out from under his shirt and showed her.

"That is so amazing!"

"Do you want one?" asked Catulus.

"Yes! Can I have this one?" she asked.

"No, I intend to be buried with this, I've got another for you. This is from the left paw and I write with my left hand."

"I can't wait, this is so fantastic," she said as she examined the bear claw. Then, quick as a wink, she slipped her arm around his neck and pulled him close for a kiss. His eyes popped wide open in surprise, and she laughed. "See you at rehearsal tomorrow my kitten!" and she dashed off.

She stopped to look back before she ducked into the fleabag hotel they were checked into, and she saw Catulus looking at the claw, weeping. She walked back to Catulus, and he was fighting back the tears, but he was losing the battle. "If I had known this, I never would have kissed you."

"It wasn't the kiss," groaned Catulus. "My mom, dad, and grandmother all called me kitten. I thought I'd never hear that again... it just felt so good to hear it one more time."

"Then prepare yourself Mister Turtle, for I shall call you my kitten every chance I get.

<><><><><>֍<><><><><>

They were in Cotia! Catulus was in a constant state of excitement. The last three stops were incredible! The audiences in Thorngarde, Haybourne, and Whitmere were wild for Elma, they wept over her dramatic readings; they rocked side to side as they joined her in her sing-along songs; they sat in rapt awe of her operatic aria, and the biggest reaction they got was her dance with Catulus. It was called her 'Sad Dance' because she starts out so sad, but when she acts joyfully at the end of the dance, the audience actually breaks out in tears of happiness for her.

Then, suddenly, Catulus drew inside himself and emotionally stopped. At rehearsal, he was cold and lifeless. His sparkling silver-blue eyes were listless and sad; he refused to make eye contact with her, and his touch was cold. Finally, she could take it no more. She could be like a whimpering simp and blame herself, or she could demand answers. After rehearsal, she grabbed his wrist and dragged him outside behind the theater and demanded, "talk to me!"

"About what?"

"Do NOT ask about what. You have been closed off and remote. You won't talk to me, you won't look at me, and when I try to kiss you, you leave. It's like being near me is a chore, and I think I have earned an explanation."

He sank down and sat on a crate, sadly shaking his head. "We'll soon be in the capital, and then it's over. I will be home. I will go back to my farm, and the troupe will head on to the neighboring kingdom of Semita, and that will be it."

Elma sighed and sat on Catulus' lap. Her bottom was oddly warm on his thighs and groin, which was another stab to his heart. "My poor kitty," she said as she ran her fingers through his silver locks and kissed his forehead. "I'm going to miss them too."

A realization ran through Catulus' addled mind, but he dared not entertain that thought lest he be left even more heartbroken. "What?" was all he could say.

"I'm going to miss them as well," said Elma. "Couldn't you hear me?"

"I heard you quite well but..."

"But nothing Mister Kitten. I signed onto this troupe until something better came along." She grabbed his goatee and forced him to look into her eyes. "You are my something better."

"I'm going to a farm!" he nearly shouted. "What joy could a woman of your stature find on a farm reeking of sheep shit?"

"That, my dear kitty, is the smell of money. I was raised on a farm and spent my life milking cows and goats. You wouldn't believe what these hands can do for a man." As he gasped in shock at her brazen statement, she tugged the bear claw that hung on the leather thong around his neck and said, "Besides, you owe me a claw." She hopped up and tugged at his wrists. "Come on Kitty, the band wants to run through the new arrangement of the sad dance again."

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The claws he chopped from the bear got so hard as they dried, Catulus couldn't punch a hole in the claw he intended to give to Elma. But when they got to Hazelwell, he was able to find a smithy who happily drilled holes in all the claws he had collected. All the smithy asked in return was for one of the small claws on a leather thong, which Catulus happily gave him.

The next morning at rehearsal, Catulus was back to his excited self. "Why so gleeful now?" asked Elma as they stretched out before their dance.

"Because we are in my home kingdom of Cotia! I know exactly where I am, I can open a wicket to my farm from here." When Elma looked confused, Catulus said, "A wicket is a very precise spell. A wizard has to know where the target is in relation to where he was standing. I had never traveled much so I had no idea where my farm was related to where I was, but Hazelwell I know! I've been here a dozen times selling wool. I know where my farm is."

"Can we hop there tomorrow? We don't have an early show tomorrow."

"Yeah! Let's do it." Then his excited tone softened. He stepped up to Elma, and she started trembling with excitement. She did not know why, but she felt something big was going to happen. He reached into the pocket of his practice trousers and pulled out the enormous claw he had selected for her. It was the matching right center claw to his left center claw. He looped the leather thong around her neck. She couldn't bring herself to look at the claw she had been waiting months for; her emerald eyes were held captive by his silver-blue eyes.

Observers saw a glow form around Catulus and Elma, and a sweet smelling breeze rustled through the theater. Catulus pulled Elma close, and their lips met, and this time she didn't break the kiss off quickly. Their tongues danced together as they pulled each other close. A shock of passion raced through their bodies, and they began panting as they kissed. They couldn't hold each other close enough as their passion soared. Then, finally, they stopped kissing and stood in the middle of the stage, nuzzling each other. Elma tried to talk, but her throat was dry and her lips weren't obeying at first. Finally, she got her words out.

"I caught ya."

Catulus chuckled with sheer joy. "Indeed you did." He touched his forehead to hers and said, "I love you Elma Chicci Terzi, my darling."

"And I love you, Catulus Livius Testudo, my kitten."

The bubble of joy that surrounded them faded away, and they returned to the theater, and they found their fellow performers staring at them with open mouthed wonder. The stage director Karl Saar glared at them and said, "You couldn't save that for the seven pm performance tonight?"

"We'll try it again tonight," said Elma.

"Pray, assemble, good people!" said Karl. When everyone was in place, he gave them the news. "For the ensuing three nights, we shall reside here in Hazelwell, thereafter journeying to Lake Reed, and thence onward to Highfield. In all three locations we're going to work with all of our new songs, our new dances, our new acts, everything. For upon our arrival at Ravenhold, grand metropolis that it is, we have a command to performance before none other than King Elias the Third!"

A shock of excitement ran through the actors, musicians and technicians. The king! They were going to play for the king! "Do you know anything about King Elias?" Elma asked Catulus.

"Just that historically he was a good and kind king. He led Cotia through several decades of peace and his son was equally as good. Why?"

"I was thinking, maybe he can marry us. What do you think?"

Catulus looked at her with a grin and finally said, "I think you really did catch me."

That night at the 7:00 PM show, the magic review went off as they had performed in the past. Catulus only played the audience volunteer in the magic act on the first day of the engagement, by that time the word gets out that The Great Crescendo has a skilled assistant in the act, so on the second day he will play the comedic inept assistant. While The Great Crescendo finishes a sleight of hand trick and turns to do the rabbit in the hat trick, rabbits had been spilling out of the hat and were hopping around the stage, and Catulus was trying to put them back in the hat.

When they got to the sad dance, Elma was having a hard time acting sad because she had a fiancé! When the band started playing and her cue came up, she was able to get into character. The song had two more stanzas added, making her part so much sadder than before. As Catulus walked out on stage to dance with her, he was having a hard time holding back his smile too, as did the audience. They were nearly in tears for the sad little silver-haired woman. At the end of the dance, he disappeared into the side curtains as usual, and her ending smile was huge and genuine. When she called him out to take a bow, he took her in his arms and gave her a sweet kiss that brought the audience to their feet.

After the performance, Catulus and Elma, along with the Manager/director Karl Saar and his wife Tiffany, were invited to dine with Britton Harrell, Mayor of Hazelwell, and Randal Alvey, the President of the Hazelwell Farm Guild. Dinner was held at The Clean Pony Inn, the premier pub in Hazelwell. They dined on steak and kidney pie, and for dessert, a Yorkshire pudding with fruit compote.

"Our Mister Testudo doth hail from these environs of Cotia," said Karl Saar.

"I could tell by his accent," said Mayor Alvey. "You're from out in the plains, are you not?"

"Yes sir, a small farm near Vicus," said Catulus.

Mayor Alvey turned to Elma and said, "And you? Where are you from?"

"The Budural Empire, sir," said Elma.

"Ah, Budural! The name conjures thoughts of snake charmers in the streets, crowded spice and silk markets, mages wearing turbans riding on flying carpets! That explains your golden complexion," sighed Randal Alvey.

"Budural is all that and more," said Elma; then her voice grew bitter. "I was sold to a carpet maker when I was ten. I wove rugs until I was old enough to conceive, then the factory owner sold my body to the highest bidder. Apparently my silver hair drove the price for my body sky high. I escaped and took my body with me. I moved from town to town until I found The Fortune Dwight Williamson Entertainment Troupe and joined them. Eventually I found the man of my dreams, and here we are. I'm going home to the farm!" she added cheerfully.

"An amazing story! Mister Testudo is your story as incredible as hers?" asked Mayor Alvey.

"Maybe. I was raised by my grandmother, a powerful witch who got tired of me moping around the farm all day so she sent me to the Great Khase Mountains above Shibu City to find a wife but all I found was a bear." Elma showed off the bear claw that Catulus gave her, and the men chuckled.

Suddenly the men looked concerned; their wives shrieked in terror; Karl started to stand, but Catulus couldn't move. He felt an intense pain in his right side and it was hard to breathe, just as Elma was yanked out of her chair. Catulus reached back and found a dagger that was jammed into his lung. "You made a fool of me Testudo!" roared the assailant. "Don't move or I'll open her throat!"

Fighting the pain, Catulus pulled the dagger out of his side and stood to face Michel Pullain. When last seen, Michael Pullain thought he was a bluebird. He had Elma from behind, one hand holding her slim wrists behind her back, the other hand holding a dagger to her throat. As Catulus glared at Pullain, a napkin rose, folded itself, and pressed itself firmly against Catulus' wound. "Release her," said Catulus calmly.

"You vile churl. I found myself naked in a mulberry bush because of your parlor tricks. If you want me to release her, you must take that dagger and open your own wrists." He grinned in mad triumph, but then it all went horribly wrong. To Pullain's shock, Catulus disdainfully dropped the dagger, but the dagger didn't fall. It hung in the air three feet from the floor. Then it slowly rose another two feet and aimed itself straight at Pullain's throat.

Catulus repeated something that Granny Malum told him four hundred years in the future: "Kill myself? You bitter, stupid fool. A mage does not kill himself. If there's something that a mage can't live with, the mage changes it. Release her and walk away."

"By god's bones I will end you, you fraud!" and he pulled the knife tighter into Elma's throat.

Catulus saw a drop of blood forming on Elma's perfect neck, and any mercy he had toward Michel Pullain was gone. He merely said, "Marauder!"

Faster than lightning a cutlass flashed through the open door and shot into Catulus' waiting hand. At the same time, the dagger in Pullain's hand was ripped away. It sailed over his head and arched around, then drove into Pullain's back. With a cry of agony, he released Elma, and Marauder's Bane leaped from Catulus' hand and drove into Pullain's heart as the dagger Pullain used to stab Catulus drove into his chest alongside the magic cutlass. Michel Pullain died realizing too late that Catulus Testudo was not merely a sleight of hand magician. He was truly a mage of power.

"I told you to carry me at all times," said a female voice only Catulus could hear as the young mage slumped into his chair. He heard screaming and realized as the room grew dim that Elma was crying for some reason...

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Catulus woke in a darkened room when he heard her voice. "Kittyyyy. Are you awake Kitty?"

He reached out and touched a warm body covered in a very light shift. "I'm either awake, or this is a very nice dream. Where am I?"

"In our hotel room, the doctor sewed you up and gave you Retarelin to help your lungs heal, and Insuvac to put you to sleep. You kept trying to get up, so he knocked you out for two days."

"Is Pullain gone?" asked Catulus sadly.

"Yes. When the Sheriff found that he put a knife to a mage's fiancée's throat, he listed the death as a suicide."

"I'm sorry that happened," said Catulus sadly as he ran his fingers through Elma's hair. "Why didn't you tell me about your past?"

"Because I want you to love me, not to pity me." Then he felt her hand cupping his balls. "I want to have your babies, not your tears." He felt his cock growing harder under her hand. "From now on, this is mine," said Elma. "I've been following you at night you naughty kitty. I tease you and your balls start aching and after we say goodnight you sneak off to relieve the pressure."

She was right; his balls ached so much that he could barely stand up straight some evenings. He would go find a dark corner where he could relieve the ache, then return to his room. "I had to..." but her finger on his lips silenced him.

"All you had to do was ask." Her hand was stroking up and down his cock, and he realized she was right: the hands of a milk maiden could make a man happy to have a cock.

"It wouldn't be right, before..." groaned Catulus, but Elma was merciless. One hand stroked his cock, her other hand cradled his balls, and her tongue danced around the head of his cock, driving him out of his mind.

"You're right, but that was then. Now it's your duty to share with me. Now, let me know when you are going to let it go." Her voice was taunting, teasing... her hands were driving him insane. And her tongue! It flickered on the head of his cock, it ran up and down the sensitive underside, it danced around his aching balls. He groaned as the pleasure grew too much. "Tell me," she urged in a singsong voice. "Tell me my kitten!"

Suddenly he felt what the ladies of Qorath, the Kingdom of Forgotten Gods, called "Le petit gel" the little paralysis. His body tightened up, his back arched, and he was paralyzed with pleasure. "Now!" he gasped, and Elma's mouth closed over his cock, and he exploded in her mouth. She swallowed every drop as he spurted over and over until he nearly fainted.

When his shuddering ceased, she kissed her way up to his lips and kissed him. She wanted to see if he would recoil from her kiss after letting go in her mouth, but he kissed her passionately. She sighed and relaxed and enjoyed the kiss. She found the right man. "Now you know how I survived being handed around among the men of Budural and maintaining my virginity," said Elma as she cuddled up next to her fiancé.

"You no longer have to worry about that," said Catulus as he slipped back to sleep.

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King Elias the Third, King of Cotia, enjoyed the show that the Fortune Dwight Williamson Entertainment Troupe put on. They were in the largest theater that they had ever seen, and it was packed, a sold-out house. The Fortune Dwight Williamson Entertainment Troupe band was paired up with the King's Philharmonic, and the musical numbers were utter magic. The design of the stage insured the actors' voices were reflected out into the audience so they were heard better than ever before. The comedic skits were loved by the audience, and the musical numbers were adored by Queen Anne. The magic act was perfection. Many more tricks were added; there were rabbits hopping about everywhere, and the juggling routine between Catulus and The Great Crescendo was performed with flaming batons that had the audience gasping.

Elma and Catulus' "sad dance" was a tremendous success. Catulus used some magic on this iteration, and at the end of the dance where he would step behind the curtains, this time was closed with a passionate kiss, and as the kiss drew to an end, Catulus faded away and disappeared like a dream. It was so surreal and felt so real that the audience sat in stunned silence, then burst into riotous applause. When Catulus came out to take a bow, Elma wouldn't let go of his hand, and they kissed again to the cheers of "Bravo!"

"Pray tell, my dearest, what are your sentiments regarding the spectacle we have just witnessed?" asked Queen Anne, not trying to mask her Southern accent.

"I believe I am going to have to coerce, blackmail, bribe, or threaten the second most powerful wizard I've ever met," said the king. "I'm not excited about the prospect of any of those options."

"Blimey! Uh, I mean, Good heavens!" that caused King Elias to chuckle. Anne saw her primary role as queen was to keep the king in good spirits, and trying to speak with a Cotian accent always made him chuckle. "And 'tis for this very reason that my love is thine. Shall we make our acquaintance with the bride and groom?" and they rose to applaud the final bow by the entire troupe, which caused the entire audience to rise with their sovereign.

After the show, the entire troupe was invited to the palace for the big event. Both Catulus and Elma wore white; she wore a lacy traditional wedding gown that showed off her delightful cleavage so perfectly that the king had to keep his eyes on his queen. The white gown looked so beautiful against Elma's golden skin that the royal portrait painter begged for a sitting with the happy couple.

Catulus wore a white shirt with ruffled sleeves under a white waistcoat that served as a doublet. He wore white breeches to just below the knee and white stockings. The only black he wore was his black dancing shoes and his black sword belt. Marauder kept him up much of the night begging to be part of the sad dance and the wedding. It finally asked Elma, who agreed with it immediately after Catulus explained who was that woman's voice she heard. Both the bride and groom refused to wear a wig which was the fashion of the time, Elma's hair was "fluffed up" by Aunt Edna who had been doing her hair for the past seven years, and Catulus simply combed his long hair out straight and tied it back with a white ribbon.

Catulus' best man was Reed Dudley, also known as The Great Crescendo. They developed a great friendship, and Catulus even taught Reed some real magic to spice up his act. Elma's matron of honor was Tiffany Saar, her selected replacement in the dramatic readings and the "sad dance."

The wedding ceremony and reception party were held at Hartington Palace, the capital of Cotia. The ceremony was brief but meaningful. The king chatted kindly with the bride and groom, spoke on his twenty-five year marriage to Queen Anne, and before the couple realized it, each had a ring on their finger and a spouse at their side. The entire Fortune Dwight Williamson Entertainment Troupe band played a cheerful recessional, and one of the king's aides led them to an office next to the reception hall where the wedding was held.

The king stayed to address the guests at the party. "Friends of the Fortune Dwight Williamson Entertainment Troupe, thank you so much for blessing Cotia with your presence and your merriment. It has been ages since the city of Ravenhold had entertainment such as that. I understand that your tour finishes after four shows in neighboring Semita. I would like you to think of Cotia as your home. Rest here after the tour is done if you would like, stay with us as you prepare your next tour. Your troupe is welcome in Cotia any time you desire. Please, enjoy the reception. I'm going to speak with the happy couple before they return." And then he departed, leaving the Fortune Dwight Williamson Entertainment Troupe to enjoy the party in the reception hall.

King Elias entered the office where Queen Anne was chatting with the newlyweds about her own wedding right there where Catulus and Elma were wed. "I understand that you're considering not remaining here in Cotia?" asked King Elias.

"Our farm is gone and we can't afford to start a new one, so maybe we'll stay with the troupe and earn some money," said Catulus.

The king sat at the desk where he did much of his work and said, "I understand your situation more than you realize. Your farm is not gone; it just hasn't been built yet."

"What do you mean, sir, uh, sire?" asked a nervous Catulus. He was nervous because he wasn't sure how to address a king, having never spoken to one before. "Last week we opened a wicket on the farm site and there's nothing there, just a pond."

Elma nodded and said, "there was a pile of lumber, that's all."

"If you looked now, you would see the cottage is almost finished and the lumber is there for the barn," said King Elias. "Go ahead and look." He gestured to a side door and said, "I insist."

Catulus stepped outside, followed by Elma in her rustling gown. Outside, Catulus prepared to cast the incantation. It's a complex spell, but once you get the hang of it, it gets easier every time, as long as you don't do something complex like mess with the timeline. The wicket opened, and the blinding rainbow of the portal opened on the Testudo farm. Instead of stepping through, they peered under the iridescent rainbow and saw a thatching crew finishing up the roof on their new home.

When they reentered the king's office, King Elias and Queen Anne were all smiles. "How does it look?"

"It's incredible but it's smaller than I'm used to," said Catulus.

"I'm sure following generations will add on to the main structure as your family grows. Please sit, we need to talk." Still grinning from ear to ear, Catulus and Elma sat, clutching hands. The king placed a wooden chest on the desk in front of Catulus. "This is your family fortune."

Catulus shrugged and opened and found that the small case was packed full of gold. "That is the result of four hundred years of scrimping and saving."

"I don't understand."

The king looked pained, and he said, "Your grandmother, Malum Testudo, Granny Malum, she was here two months ago. She left this and several documents before she passed on."

"Granny died?"

"Yes, she went peacefully, happy that you two had found each other," said Queen Anne softly. "She explained to us how you traveled through a wicket and ended up on top of Turtle Mountain."

"Turtle Mountain? That's the name of the mountain where she dropped me?" Catulus shook his head and smiled. "That's my granny. What else did she say?"

"She said to tell you that she fixed the wizard that opened the wicket for the marauders when you were five, whatever that means."

"I'm not a vengeful person," grumbled Catulus.

"No, she said that the wicket that brought the marauders to kill your parents didn't happen, the Testudo legacy continues."

"That means... my mom and dad are alive?" gasped Catulus.

The king shrugged. "I do not know the future beyond that point. Grandmother Malum assured me that your parents returned home to a happy and loving five year old Catulus. As for the present time..." King Elias sounded unsure as he continued. "The only thing I know for sure is that I have a wizard who is knowledgeable about the future of this kingdom for the next four hundred years. I would like to hire you as my court wizard."

Catulus and Elma looked at each other, and the king had a horrible feeling that they were speaking together, but he was being excluded from the conversation somehow. The air between him and the newlyweds shimmered, and it looked like they were smiling at him. Behind the shimmer, Catulus was shaking and sweating. "No, this is all wrong. I could say the wrong thing and a political disturbance could become a bloody war! Just the fact that I'm here is probably changing history."

"Look at your coin," came the mysterious voice that could only be from Marauder's Bane. With trembling hands he pulled the leather case from his pocket and slid out the coin that his great-great-grandfather earned for gallantry in the War of 1347. He looked at the coin in shock, and the voice said, "It's because of what you do as a member of the Kings court."

The king watched as Catulus slid the coin out of the case, and he gasped as he looked at the coin and began weeping. Elma held him close and whispered in his ear, then gently slid the coin out of his hand and put it on the desk for the king to examine. It was a $200 gold sovereign, and they're only minted on special occasions. This one said, "With deepest gratitude for a half-century of devoted service to the crown, 1297-1347."

"Your ancestor was court wizard; this is two hundred years from now."

"To my husband that coin is one hundred ninety years old," said Elma as Catulus pulled himself together.

"Your family has a long history of service to the crown," said the king hopefully.

Catulus' head was spinning; there had never been a court wizard to the throne of Cotia in his family. They were lone farmers out on the prairie, raising children to learn magic and avoid the world at large. But this coin showed that the horrific wars of 1347 didn't happen; hundreds of thousands of lives were saved. What other things could he do to save the lives of his friends and neighbors? "I guess we do now," said Catulus as he rose. He drew Marauder's Bane with his left hand and held it horizontal on the flats of his palms and bowed. "I offer my sword to your service, my lord."

"I don't want your sword, dear Catulus. I want your heart, your mind, and your loyalty to Cotia."

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Catulus carried Elma through the doorway into the beautiful bridal suite of Hartington Palace. The room was beautifully decorated with soft pastel tapestries covering the stone walls. Sunlight poured through two large stained glass windows, which showed heroes of the past slaying dragons and performing other manly deeds. The huge, ornate fireplace held a fire that crackled merrily, and the room also had a potbelly coal stove to provide warmth throughout the night. There was a table and chairs for dining, a wall covered with bookshelves full of books and scrolls to read, and from a quick glance at the titles, they were all erotic works there to help young couples who were stalled for ideas.

There was an actual water closet where the bride and groom could bathe and a changing room where Elma ducked. She peered back out and said, "Why don't you take off that stuffy jacket and find something to read while I take off this horse blanket," said Elma. "Far too many girders and underpinnings in this costume for my taste," she said as she started scratching her torso in a very unlady like manner.

"Yes darling," said Catulus, and he took off his jacket and sword belt, and his dagger that he wore inside his belt, then he kicked off his dancing shoes and pulled off his stockings. Below them the party still raged into the wee hours of the evening, and it sounded like fun, but Catulus wanted to be completely sober for his bride. A book titled "The Happy Spouse And Your Tongue" sat in the middle of the table, and he flipped through the book with curiosity.

"This volume is concerned not with the Grand Act of Procreation itself, but rather with those tender ministrations a devoted spouse doth employ to prepare their beloved, and to kindle within them a yearning for thee surpassing even their present affection..."

The chapter called "Loving Your Husband" included some things that Elma did to his cock with her mouth occasionally. But the chapter titled "Romancing The Rose" fascinated him. Women were a mystery to him because for much of his life the only woman was Granny Malum. Granny was a moving pile of black robes with wizen hands covered with paper thin golden skin protruding from the robes occasionally. Her wrinkled apple face and her mound of silver hair were all Catulus ever saw of her. He saw younger women, and they were fascinating, with curves and bumps that enticed him. It wasn't until he met Elma that he truly understood what those bumps were.

He was still studying "Romancing the Rose" when Elma stepped out of the dressing room in a gown that was made of black lace. The lace showed and showed off her luscious golden skin... and her nipples protruded through the lace! He wanted to throw her on the bed and fuck her senseless. However, rule number one of Romancing the Rose warned against that...

"Compose thyself, and woo thy beloved with a tender hand, for she is no mere joint of beef to be ravenously consumed, but a delicate blossom to be savored with gentle appreciation."

He took her into his arms and they kissed, their tongues dancing together in a promenade of love. "What were you reading?"

"It was an instruction manual for the vag'na."

"It's pronounced vuh-GINE-ah." His beautiful darling chuckled and said, "What did you learn?"

"Stuff I already knew, not to treat you like a piece of meat, Granny Malum already taught me that, but she never said what that entails. I couldn't consider roasting you."

"Mmmmm," moaned Elma as she gently pulled his lower lip with her teeth playfully. "You do get me hot on occasion. Show me what you learned."

"First I must undress you."

"You're always taking my clothes off," said Elma. "I want YOU naked first." She muttered something under her breath, and his shirt and trouser buttons suddenly became unfastened.

"Very good, you're a excellent student." Catulus had been teaching Elma basic magic since the first time he held her hand. By the time she had him undressed, she was writhing with desire. The feeling of control when she did that excited her beyond anything she had ever experienced.

"What's the matter, you look so worried."

"You told me some of your previous experiences with men. I don't want any of that to ruin our love making..."

"You've already shown me that you know what stop and slow down means," said Elma. "That's all I ask."

"Then let us see if I can turn book learning into action," said Catulus as he eased Elma onto her back. "No magic, this is all physical."

"Show me," she whispered, her voice growing heavy with passion. For once she has a man that she wants to touch her, a man whom she doesn't want to tell to stop.

"I've never been naked with a woman before," whispered Catulus as he kissed her neck and found a spot behind her ear that suddenly sent jolts of pleasure through her entire being.

"I've never been naked with a naked man before either," she gasped as his lips and tongue caused her to lose control. "Did you learn that from your book," she gasped, panting as she found another sensitive spot behind the other ear.

"I learned it from you." The book clearly told him, "Observe most attentively the reactions of thy partner, and thereby glean an understanding of their inclinations."

Although it was written in that weird southern style, he knew exactly what it meant. Now he kissed his way down to her breasts and explored them, each the size of a large apple, which was large for her tiny, slim body. He sucked on her nipples, growing more aggressive as her gasps grew more encouraging.

"Yes," she gasped. "I want you," she said as she tugged on his cock.

"I have a favor I must repay," he said as he started kissing his way down to her rose.

"Pray, do not leap haphazardly from one dalliance to another upon your beloved's person. Rather, trace a deliberate course of kisses, and observe with keen interest her reaction."

She writhed and groaned as his kisses moved closer to her center of heat. One hand was already there, gently exploring. A finger slipped into her opening, and Catulus gasped as loudly as she did. It was so warm, so wet, so inviting inside her flower, or as they call it in the uncouth East, her cunt. He couldn't wait to ease his shaft inside his wife.

Elma was growing in excitement as his kissed traveled lower and lower. No man had ever dared such a thing. They promised in return for a suck on their cocks, but they never returned the favor and walked away leaving her (thankfully) alone and still virginal. Rude fingers robbed her of her hymen years ago, but Catulus didn't seem to mind as first one, then two fingers eased in and out of her opening. Then she felt his gentle kisses on her cunt. Catulus grew more and more eager as she sighed with pleasure. His fingers reaching deep into her purse and his tongue began dancing right... there! How did he know?

"Whilst her pussy doth beckon as a final destination, 'tis the locale just North which merits thine earnest attention. She shall, with nary a doubt, apprise thee when thy tongue hath discovered the haven wherein she desires it to linger."

Bolts of erotic lightning rocketed through Elma's body as her husband's tongue danced on her clit. She grabbed her breasts with her tiny hands and squeezed, pinching and pulling her nipples with her thumb and forefinger. She called out her pleasure with a guttural grunt, and Catulus asked, "Do you want me to stop?"

"DON'T YOU DARE STOP NOW!" she cried as her passions grew. Catulus continued to suckle his tiny bride's clit, and suddenly the first orgasm created by a man crashed over her. Wave after wave of raw pleasure drove her out of her mind. She grabbed her legs and held them wide open for her husband, inviting him to suckle her to insanity, but instead, in the middle of that sexual maelstrom, Catulus climbed up over her and eased his cock into her hot, wet pussy.

Her moist, hot slit tempted him for far too long, and now, as she cried out her pleasure, he had to join her. He felt her pussy suck him inside her and squeeze his cock in her loving embrace. His sudden entry shocked Elma. She felt she was being impaled on a thick fence post, but it felt so good that she just surrendered to her man. "Fuck me," she gasped as she wrapped her arms and legs around him, and he granted her wish.

The sound of their groins slapping together filled the air as her climax continued and Catulus climbed toward his. It didn't take him long to join her in nirvana, and he roared his pleasure as he shot load after load of his hot, white gift into her.

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Fourteen months later, on a cold, blustery autumn evening, an exhausted Catulus sat in their cozy cottage in front of a toasty fire. In his arms he held Feles, his sweet daughter, as she fought off sleep. She had Elma's gold complexion and the silver hair of her mother and father. She was only a month old, but Catulus had decided she was the smartest baby in the world. His loving eyes studied his sleepy baby as he rocked her to sleep. He had spent the day pitching hay and hunting, and he was exhausted, but not too tired to spend time with Feles. "This goose is going to be great for dinner," called Elma from the kitchen. "I wish I could hurry it up with magic."

"The combination of meat and heat is magic unto itself, and can't be trifled with," he replied.

"Who said that?" said Elma.

"Me, I just said it."

"You never say 'trifled with.' Was that from Granny?"

"Well... yeah. You probably would have loved her. Like you, she's not one to mince words."

"She sounds like my kind of girl," said Elma as she stepped into the main room. She was wearing a simple black robe, the same thing Catulus saw Granny Malum wear every day for twenty-seven years of his life. Elma was a few inches taller than Granny, but everything else looked the same. Their emerald eyes were identical, their cloud of silver hair was identical, their small inquisitive hands were identical, their tiny feet were identical... "What's wrong? You look like you saw a ghost," asked Elma.

"Your name... does it have a meaning?"

"Yeah, I thought you knew. Elma is the Budurali word for Apple. My middle name Chicci is Budurali for blossom."

"Like Malum... that means apple also."

Elma merely nodded. Her pet wolf Lupus sat at her side, wondering what was going on. They found the wolf as a pup while hiking and nursed it to health. They both decided it would be good to protect the livestock and the babies. As usual, Peri, their house fairy, sat on Elma's shoulder, just like she used to sit on Granny Malum's shoulder. "I was thinking of changing my name to Malum. I really want to leave Budural in the past."

Catulus looked shocked. "I was named for Granny Malum's father, Livius. You said that your father's name was Livius."

"It was. He was a good man, but he and my mother were killed by marauders when I was ten."

How could she be so calm! His entire world was falling apart, and she stood there calm and serene. "Don't you understand, Feles... I'm her great-grandfather! I'm my own grandfather!"

"No, no, no," said Elma. "If any of what you suspect was true, she would be your great-grandmother twenty times removed, but yes, you are your own great-grandfather." She placed her hands on his temples and muttered the incantation that Granny Malum had left her. It was in a letter that Queen Anne gave to Elma when they were sharing tea privately.

"But..." Poor Catulus looked so shocked and terrified. The only problem with the spell was that it took a while to work.

"Yes, you are right. I sent you back to find me, I was so lonely and so in love. But more than that, Cotia needed a wizard on the king's court to help guide him and to ferret out rats from the nobles. But no Testudo mage would take the job simply because no Testudo mage took the job in the past. The guidance you give the king echoes through the years and the number of lives you've saved is immeasurable." She kissed his forehead, and he appeared calmer. It takes a while for the spell to sink in. Finally, she asked, "What were you about to say?"

"I wish we had some of those wild chickens I shot up on Turtle Mountain. They were delicious."

"Those are called partridge! Dinner is almost ready. Put the baby down and come eat."

"Be right with you," said Catulus as he got up to swaddle the baby.

Elma went into the kitchen and set plates out. Some day when he doesn't need help to accept their story, she'll let him read the letter she left with the king for herself.