This companion piece was written in multiple parts for the story "King Ulrich's Day" part of the 2025 Nude Day contest. It was written as a rollicking drinking ballad for pre-jukebox revelers.
(Please don't ask about My Bonnie Elven Strumpet, I haven't written it yet)

The Ballad of Mad King Ulrich
(Sang to the tune of My Bonnie Elven Strumpet (traditional))

Verse (sang slowly)
In castle high on windswept peak,
Ruled Mad King Ulrich, bizarre and bleak.
His crown askew, his socks mismatched,
His schemes absurd, and all half-hatched.

He once declared, "Let cheese be law!
All crimes absolved with gouda slaw!"
The court, confused, could scant agree
But Ulrich's word was royal decree.

Chorus (sang joyfully)
Oh gather ye round, ye rabble and knaves,
Let's toast to the boldest who's cheated the graves!
He's galloped through fire, through battle and fog,
Mad Old King Ulrich — the pride of the bog!

Verse
He knighted geese in golden mail,
Sent ferrets off to sea to sail.
He banned the color purple twice,
Then married toast. (It wasn't nice.)

He'd host grand balls with ghostly guests,
Where chairs wore capes and stools wore vests.
He'd toast the moon with jam and tea,
And duel reflections, best two of three.

Chorus
He's banned in three kingdoms, two inns, and a shed,
And one haunted bakery (for reasons unsaid).
He's slept in a moat, in a tree, and a pie,
And once tamed a griffin... just by blinking one eye!

Verse
His generals fled. His jester cried.
His horse led coups (and nearly tried).
Yet through the madness, loud and clear
He built a moat, 'twas filled with beer.

They say he ruled for fifty years,
On diet made of wine and cheers.
'Til one bright morn, he rode away,
To chase a squirrel he swore was fey.

Now Ulrich's gone, just vanished, poof!
A legend lost in courtly spoof.
But sometimes, when the cheese wheels roll,
We think of him... and fear the toll.

Chorus
So fill up yer flagons and bellow his name,
Mad Old King Ulrich — the toast of the game!
May his tales be all merry, his debts be forgot
For he's mostly a legend... and definitely hot!