Every February, we celebrate the shortest month of the year with the shortest stories allowed on Lit. The 750 Word Project 2025 is an annual writer's challenge to write the most complete story you can create using exactly 750 words. There are several sub-challenges and this sub-challenge is my favorite.

This story is part of the 750 Word Challenge, Dirty Joke sub-challenge. Below this line are exactly 750 words.

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Sven and Lina Mortensen went to the marriage counselor with a problem that was driving Lina crazy.

"What is the problem?" asked Doctor Gunnar Omdahl. Gunnar was Grete Thorsen's nephew and Grete was Lina Mortensen's best friend at the Trinity Lutheran church, so he should be a good doctor, right?

"I don't know, there's no spark," she said after a long pause. "We haven't..." She leaned forward and whispered, "knullet."

"Knullet?" asked Doctor Omdahl.

Lina nodded sadly. "Ja. Not once in the past six months, don'tcha know."

He had to guess at what she meant. Doctor Omdahl doesn't speak Norwegian other than the occasional uff da (Oh wow) or ikke mer lutefisk (no more lutefisk) at family gatherings. "When was the last time you... knullet?" the young psychologist asked.

"At the last Norsk Hostefest," said Lina. "Right after the Prairie Home Companion stage show."

"What can I say? I like the Powder Milk Biscuit jingle," said Sven, finally speaking.

The Norsk Hostefest is a celebration of everything Norwegian or Norwegian flavored. From crafts and quilts to the epitome of Norsk living on the Dakota Prairies, a stage performance of the former NPR radio show A Prairie Home Companion. The Norsk Hostefest is held every year over in Minot, and the Norsk of the prairies gather there every year to celebrate their heritage... such as it is.

"So you went to the show and when you got home you... knullet?" asked the young doctor.

"Oh no," said Lina, blushing. "We didn't make it off the fairgrounds."

"No, right there behind the All Seasons Arena," said Sven.

"Between the chainsaw carving demonstration and the Pineapple Whip stand," giggled Lina.

"Tell me about it. What made it so memorable?" asked Dr. Omdahl. He got his notebook out and prepared to take notes.

"Oh no, that's nothing we can talk about with a doctor," said Lina, blushing furiously.

"Yes it is," said Doctor Omdahl.

"You sure?" asked Sven.

"Yes, I'm a doctor, I would know."

"Okey dokey," huffed Lina. "We come out of da show and we were in a good mood... the News from Lake Woebegone always puts Sven in a frisky mood don'tcha know."

"Oh ja, I love the News from Lake Woebegone," said Sven.

Doctor Omdahl didn't know how he would hold back the laughter. The News from Lake Woebegone was merely a comedy skit describing life in small town Minnesota. Garrison Keillor performed that skit on National Public Radio for years and developed a huge following. "Go on," he said.

Lina continued, "I bent over to pet a stray kitten and next ting you know, he throws up my skirt. His pikk is in my tisserumpe, an' he's just goin' to town!"

"I couldn't help it doctor," said Sven. "She was wearin' that Norsk dress with the low bust line and her puppers showin' all afternoon. There's just so much a man can take, don'tcha know."

"Well, there you go," said Doctor Omdahl. "When the mood strikes, don't hold back."

"I don't know," said Sven. "she's always workin' in the garden, working in the beans, weeding and picking beans."

"I don't think Lina would mind a little knullet in the beans, would you, Lina?" asked the young doctor.

"I spose," said a furiously blushing Lina.

"Ok, here's your homework. You two go home and when the mood strikes, you knullet to your heart's content."

"Okey Dokey," said Sven.

The next time Doctor Omdahl saw Sven and Lina, they were all smiles and kisses. They sat holding hands, and they positively glowed. "It looks like you took my advice," said Dr. Omdahl. "So what happened? Tell me about it."

"Welp, I saw mama bent over the beans and I said 'I spose I should give 'er a go,' don'tcha know," said Sven.

"And he did," said Lina.

"So I dropped my trousers, flipped up her skirt and drove my ol' John Thomas home. Hot damn that was good!" said a happy Sven.

"How was it Lina? Did you like it? Was it good?" asked the young doctor.

"Oh, Ja!" gushed the smiling woman. "He was a wild man, and I was just as wild, don'tcha know."

Sven chuckled, "Even Missus Baardsen from up the street heard my Lina, and Missus Baardsen is as deaf as a stump."

"Ja, I was loud don'tcha know... It's just..." and Lina suddenly looked sad.

"Just what Lina?" he asked.

"It's just, I don't tink they're gonna let us back in that grocery store ever again."