This is my entry for the 2023 April Fool's Day Contest and is a follow-on story to my 2022 On The Job Event Blindsided by the Blind Guy. Tam and Jake have been married 14 years, they have three boys ages twelve, eight, and four. Tam is now chair of the Psychology Dept. and Jake teaches several literature classes and has authored several more books. If you haven't read Blindsided by the Blind Guy, there are some spoilers in this story. Both of these stories use characters and locales from the We're a Wonderful Wife universe.

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Blindsiding the Blind Guy

Jake Johnson made his way down the hallway of the University of Minnesota at Bemidji in beautiful but blustery Bemidji Minnesota, and right now the only sound he could hear was the tapping of his cane. If you're a friend you call him JJ or Jake, if you're a reader of his books you call him J. E. Johnson, and if you're sitting in his classroom, you call him professor or Doctor Johnson.

Jake is a professor of American Literature at a small university in Minnesota and he loves his job, the staff is good to him, his department chair gives him the academic freedom to tackle projects far outside the scope of his academic purview, he has a bevy of teaching assistants, and his home is a short walk from campus. On the downside, he is in Bemidji Minnesota and his home is too far for him to safely walk when the weather is bad, it's near impossible for him to find his way home if there is ice or snow on the sidewalk which is over half the year.

When your way of "seeing" the route home was with a cane that you use to feel the edge of the sidewalk and the curb of the crosswalk, a half inch of snow was blinding.

Outside the snow was piling up in drifts and wind chills of minus fifteen degrees made walking home deadly for Jake. The conditions would make standing at a bus stop a suicidal undertaking for him, if there was a bus that would take him home. There is Uber or taxi cabs, he could afford that, but now he says a prayer of thanks every day for having a ride home and not having to walk. He has a wonderful wife who loves him and insists every evening on driving him to their home and three boys.

The building was much newer than his previous school, so his "Nav Aides" (as his Air Force veteran brother-in-law Donovan would put it) were fewer than what he used to navigate on the old campus when he taught at Washington County College in St. Paul. But there were Nav Aides in Bemidji, and he knew how to use them. Gone were the old sheet metal drinking fountains and waste receptacles that he would tap to determine his location, everything was turn of the 21st Century new and modern yet now over twenty years old. There wasn't much for the ball at the end of his red tipped white walking stick to tap against like in the old building, but he still navigated the same way, using clues to guide him. He counted doorways as he passed the classrooms, then the kick plate stretching across the hallway floor showing the joint between buildings. Here was the connection between Stauber Hall (literature) and Finstad Hall (Social Sciences) telling Jake that he was halfway to his goal.

Now he felt a chill on his right side, it felt like he was standing next to a block of ice, that chill came from the large series of windows overlooking the courtyard. He was running a bit late, but he didn't realize how late he was, he was enlightened to the time when the hallways became a cacophony of footsteps and voices, students filled the hall rushing, walking, congregating, and it seemed to Jake that all were talking as loudly as possible. The tsunami of sound confused and overwhelmed him, to a sighted person it would be the equivalent of a series of strobe lights flashing and obscuring whatever it was you were trying to see.

He reached for his watch to check the time, in the past he had braille watches where one would flip up the crystal and read the position of the hands with his fingers. At one point he had a talking watch, it was nice, one button and he knew the time right down to the second, but then so did everyone around him. That was not a good choice for checking the time at church. He loved his current watch, an extravagant gift from his wife, an Eone Bradley Compass, it had a face with no numbers, just markers for hours, and the hands were magnetized ball bearings in recessed tracks. The "hour hand" was in a track around the outside edge of the watch, the "minute hand" was in a track on the face of the watch. A gentle touch, look for those two balls, and damn, it's four thirty, he was incredibly late, and he was not happy with his reason for being late.

All he could do was rely on his cane and he swept it back and forth, continuously tapping on the wall to his right as his guide. A change in the sound that the wall made when he tapped it with his cane told him he was at the pair of doors that would lead out into the courtyard in fair weather. As he made his way past the doors his cane struck something unexpected. It was a crowd of students who weren't moving. Most people moved out of his way knowing, or at least using a few brain cells and deducing that he depended on the righthand wall for his navigation, not this group. They were either obstinate or oblivious. He continued tapping on shoes and ankles to determine the size of the group and give them a hint that he needed to get through and in response all he got was laughter and the cry of "What the fuck!"

Dr. Johnson recognized that voice, in fact the voice belonged to the reason why he was late and now trapped in a crowded corridor. The voice and the person it belonged to was both obstinate AND oblivious. "Ahh, the eloquent Mister Demmings," said Jake parking his cane under his right arm. "So good to find you here. We were supposed to meet in my office an hour ago."

"Yeah, well I had things to do," sneered Bart Demmings, a junior year football player with all the academic acumen of a small newt. He reads at a sixth-grade level, clinging to that level by his fingernails and he shows no desire to improve his standing. Some joker convinced him that Doctor Johnson was an easy A because he was blind, and the oblivious fool believed him!

"I hope one of those things you were doing was looking for a part time job," said Jake. "You will soon have the opportunity to invest your new free time in that. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm trying to get through."

"What do you mean by that?" shouted Demmings.

What Jake meant by that was Demmings' position of the football team was in jeopardy due to his poor academic standing. Intentionally Jake turned his body a bit, so he wasn't facing Demmings directly when he spoke. Jake never knew why but it drives sighted people crazy when you do that. "Trying to get through means that I'm trying to travel from here, to..."

"Look at me!" shouted Demmings.

"Mister Demmings, you just told a blind man to look at you, are you going to cure me?" that brought forth a few giggles so there were girls in this group. Jake realized that he was embarrassing the star football player in front of a bunch of giggling girls. It was wrong to do, but opportunities don't present themselves like this often enough. Sometimes life is very sweet.

"I mean the job!"

"By saying that you are going to have plenty of free time for a job, I was indicating that you're not going to be spending your time at sports. You may want to talk to Coach Herrell about that, I let him know that you missed our meeting today and he was not happy. Something about a required academic standing for his players? The coach knows more about that than I do."

"Aww God damn it you son of a BITCH!" The laughter and sound of retreating footsteps told Jake that Mr. Demmings was now sprinting toward the athletic side of campus.

A touch on his arm was followed by young female voice that came from Dr. Johnson's left side saying, "These halls are pretty crowded, would you like an assist?"

"That would be most helpful miss...?"

"I'm Victoria Baird, everyone calls me Vicky."

"Do we know each other?"

"No, but my boyfriend Shane is in your second period study of Mark Twain," said Vicky. "Here, take my arm, my grandpa is blind, he taught me how to guide him," and with that she began to guide Jake through the crowded halls.

"He taught you well Miss Baird. I take it that your boyfriend is Shane Yarmuth. The swimmer?"

"Yes, I'm on the girl's team myself."

Jake chuckled; it sounded like Shane was going ahead of them moving people out of the way. "I could always count on swimmers," Jake said.

"How is that?" asked Vicky.

"My wife's youngest sister was timekeeper for her high school swim team, and she coached two swimmers to state records. Then she married one of them, and her older brother married the other."

"Sounds like Diddy Mao," said Shane. "I swam against Grant Valley, and they still call out her name when they race."

Now Jake was having a hard time keeping from laughing. "Diddy Mao... exactly." Jake was sure that this would continue because "Diddy Mao's" brother was going to be coach of that swim team next year.

He allowed himself to be guided through the throngs of students whose only thought was to get out of the building because class was over for the day. Vicky did a great job of guiding him through the horde that truly began to panic Jake. With Shane running interference Vicky led Jake confidently through Finstad Hall, informing him of everything, "Coming up on the right will be the men's room followed by the drinking fountain... the fountain is recessed into the corridor wall about two feet... now here is the ladies' room... the stairs are across the hall to our left..." she made sure to keep Jake close to the wall so his cane could tap against the wall giving him a sense of location.

"Here you are Doctor Johnson, we're at Doctor Nguyen's office." Both students have taken sociology 101 and were used to the staid and serious Doctor Tam Nguyen, the iron maiden, a woman who wouldn't crack a smile if you tried to chisel one on her face. She stepped out of her office a breathtaking Asian beauty, from her thick ebony tresses to her tiny feet she was perfect, a tight athletic body, her skin clear, wrinkle and blemish free. As usual the look on her face was an expression of bored annoyance, but when she saw Dr. Johnson she melted! She suddenly became all smiles, and he was touching her! Gently tracing his fingers over her face before they kissed. It was a complete shock for both sophomores. The terror of every psychology student in the university was smiling and laughing like a schoolgirl in love.

"I was so worried that you got turned around!" she gasped.

"Miss Baird did a remarkable job guiding me through the crowd. Darling, this fellow here, Mister Yarmuth says they memorialized your sister at Grant Valley."

"Which one?" Tam could just imagine what kind of memorial they would erect for Kim-ly, she was only there for two years and left a legacy of practical jokes that lives on until today.

"Diddy Mao!" said Shane brightly.

"Hmm?" said Tam as she clung to Jake's arm.

"Her name, Diddy Mao, they chant it at all the swim meets," said Vickie.

Tam buried her face in Jake's sleeve trying to stifle her laughter, but Jake was never one to let sleeping dogs lie. "Did they mention her brother N'yen Yen?"

"They chant that too," said Shane who fully realized something was up.

"Stop!" said Tam as she gave Jake's arm a swat. "You're awful. No wonder why your students think you're hilarious." She fought back the laughter and said, "My sister's name is Lanh Campbell, professionally she uses her maiden name like I do, she's Doctor Lanh Nguyen. When she was coaching a swimmer, she would yell Nhanh lên as they swam, that is Vietnamese for "Hurry Up." When the swimmer hit the last length she would yell "Đi đi mau!" which is roughly "Move your ass." Pretty soon everyone was yelling đi đi mau at Grant Valley swim meets."

"I can see Coach Mach encouraging the rumor that Diddy Mao was her name," chuckled Jake.

"I can too," said Tam who thanked Shane and Vicki, locked her office and guided Jake out to their car. "Speaking of Diddy Mao, she's going to watch the boys tonight, so we have an hour to get ready then drop the boys off at the farm."

At home they said their hellos to the boys who were excited about going to spend the evening at the farm with Aunt Kim-ly and Aunt Lanh. Tam's sisters learned the secret of mellowing out the three boys, if the boys each brought a book to read or color, they would be allowed to run crazy in Grandpa's hay loft for an hour or two, climbing the mountains of hay bales then afterward drink as much fresh milk as they could hold. After dinner they would unwind and read or color in front of a fire in the fireplace. Dinner would always feature "Grandpa" Ralph's grassfed beef and vegetables from "Grandma" Sandy's garden, and the boys would devour every bite. The boys loved it, Jake and Tam didn't question it, and it was better for the boys than anything on TV.

"So, we're really going to do this?" Jake asked as he got out of the shower and dried off. "We haven't gone out for a nice romantic dinner since Chip was born." Chip was their first-born son who made his appearance in the second year of their marriage. They splurged with what little money they had. They went to a truck stop and had dinner back in the corner. Coffee and French fries with gravy and newborn Chip. A financially broke academic couple who thought they knew it all, but when Charles "Chip" Johnson was born they realized that all their knowledge was just an introduction to what is really important.

Chip was their key to unlocking the mysteries that lay ahead of them. Living and loving each other for three years it all became brand new when Chip made his presence known in Tam's womb. When he was born, they handed him back and forth, cuddling and caressing their tiny infant and wondering what other mysteries lay ahead of them and will they ever learn it all? Who cared if they toasted their love with expensive imported wine or inexpensive truck stop coffee?

Chip unlocked a universe that they didn't realize existed; he was courageous, always willing to explore. Their next, Liam, was their little skeptic, always eager to find out the truth about any subject. Their youngest, Arlo, is their little bundle of love, a walking talking echo of their emotions happy when they're happy, upset when they're upset. When he's with his one-year-old cousins and they start to cry because they're hungry or wet, he cries along with them, broken hearted because his cousins are sad.

Now it seems that if Jake and Tam go out, it's always faculty functions. Wine and cheese mixers with the new recruits, and as department chair, Tam is expected to host four of these gatherings a year. She does host them, but she spends most of her time with Jake. Tam has cultivated an image of an aloof, stoic, mirthless Vietnamese beauty who appears to only say yes if you asked her if she wants you to leave. One year they brought Arlo, their youngest son. When asked why they brought Arlo she merely said that he was breastfeeding when the truth was that he was a convenient excuse if they wanted to leave early.

She's not much fun at these parties anyhow, she always wears the same dress, avoids the same conversations, and drinks the same iced tea in a glass that makes it look like she's tossing back whiskey. She'll chat with the new hires, congratulate those on the way out, and keep an eye on those that are keeping an eye on her. They can't have fun at those quarterly faculty gatherings, they would prefer a picnic with the boys back in the trees, or a concert in the park on a warm summer evening.

"I laid out everything for you to wear tonight, it's on the bed," Tam said as she pushed Jake away.

"There's no underwear," he responded as his hands gently explored her body. "We're going commando tonight?"

"That's right, now let me go, I need a shower."

He couldn't see her waggle her eyebrows at him, but he felt it in her words. "Hot damn," he muttered. She clearly had something up the sleeve she wasn't wearing at the moment, and he couldn't wait. She had a wicked imagination.

Not long later the "Terrible Trio" were dropped off at the Campbell farm and Aunty Kim-ly was ready for them. "Can we go play in the hay loft?" asked Liam.

"I have something even better than the hayloft," said Kim-ly, "let's go sledding!" There is a distinct lack of sledding hills in northcentral Minnesota, what hills there are usually have a highway at the top and a stream at the bottom, which probably explains the boy's lack of enthusiasm. The barn on Don and Lanh's farm has an earthen embankment on the back that gives tractors access to the hayloft. Life is easier when you don't have to carry each fifty-pound bale of hay up to the loft when instead you can simply drive up there with a loaded hay wagon in tow, and this 20-foot-tall mountain is now their sledding hill.

Nearby Tam and Kim-ly's youngest sister Lanh had the hay wagon hooked up to their antique John Deere tractor which sputtered softly waiting for its call to duty, Aunt Lanh and Aunt Kim-ly were planning a hayride later. Tam's youngest sister, Dr. Lanh Campbell, a practicing speech pathologist as well as a farmer, hopped off the tractor seat and came to welcome the cheering boys. "Where's your hubby?" asked Tam.

"Don is working at the restaurant tonight; he'll be making your dinner," said Lanh as she also explained to the boys that they're going sledding right here on the farm.

"What are we having?" Jake asked.

"It's a recipe he's been dying to try at the restaurant," said Kim-ly.

"It's called Pho Chien Phong," added Lanh.

"Oh god!" gasped Tam, "that stuff drives me out of my mind!" She hugged Jake from behind, "it is so good, you're going to love it!"

"Does it make you horny?" said Jake loud enough for Lanh to hear.

"On occasion it's been known to have that effect," and she whispered in his ear, "and you embarrassed Lanh."

"Mission accomplished, what happened with the boys? It got quiet... a little too quiet."

"They grabbed their sleds and are running up the hill," said Lanh.

"I think that is our cue to go," said Jake.

"Ok, you ready? Where's your cane?" said Tam as she turned Jake towards the car.

"It's in my pocket. It doesn't work very well in the snow."

"Good, let's go." Jake grabbed her arm and followed but Tam was looking down and back at how Jake was handling the snow more than watching where they were going, it's very difficult for Jake to walk in the deep snow. They developed a unique way of walking; she'll shuffle along clearing a path for Jake to follow. Soon she got him in the car, and they were heading into town.

"So, what makes Pho Chien Phong such a powerful aphrodisiac?" asked Jake.

"It's the everything of it combined..." said Tam at a complete loss for words. "The crunchy, the soft, the juicy, the crispy, the sweet, the savory... it's a symphony of all tastes, textures, and flavors."

"You know Asian food is hard for me to eat..." All his life Jake has been practicing with a fork and knife, now with Asian food everything is either cut or can't be cut, it's a messy struggle. And pho is especially difficult because the noodles are so long, who puts foot long noodles in a bowl of hot broth and then gives you two sticks to eat the soup with?

"We will be in the small dining room at the restaurant, so you can eat with your hands if you need to," said Tam. "No one will notice."

"Have we ever sat in the small room of the restaurant?" asked Jake.

"I have but I don't think you've been there," said Tam.

Once again, she was thankful that he couldn't see her grin, but then, that's why she chose him. Years ago, she was raped, and she blamed that on her looks, after that she could only feel comfortable with this man that could not see her. But even then, she was only fully comfortable after years of martial arts training.

Fifteen years ago, Jake pranked her, he convinced her to wear a sleep mask so she could identify with being blind and he led her through the hallways of their little college, the blind leading the blinded. Jake wore a sleep mask too and he had the words "Just Engaged" printed on their sleep masks and as they walked through the corridors of the college on a Friday afternoon, everybody could read their status. Professor Johnson shushed the students as he led a smiling Professor Nguyen through the halls, her huge smile was due to the fact that it felt amazing to be led through the halls blindfolded, led by a blind man, a man that she loved. But she was mostly smiling over the fact that they just had sex in her office. It was Monday when she found out that the student body of Washington County College knew that she was getting married two days before he popped the question.

Tam planned her reckoning long and secretly. She is not a prankster, Jake is, so April Fool's Day is meaningless to her celebrated only by their children as they pass through their primary grades and Jake who never advanced from third grade. But this year, this time her plan is perfect, he won't see it coming, not even on April Fool's day. It is advertised that a Klingon proverb states, "revenge is a dish best served cold," but that actually comes from French author Eugène Sue and his novel, "Memoirs of Matilda." But both Kahn Noonien Singh and Eugène Sue were wrong...

Revenge is a Dish Best Served Hot.

Very hot...

Tam and Jake entered the Nguyen Pho and Karole Krigbaum was at the hostess/cashier's station. Karole was a close friend of the family, and she towered above her Vietnamese friends. Karole stands five foot fourteen inches tall, a number she uses because her mother told her it's not lady like to be over six feet tall. Karole is as beautiful as she is tall, long flowing platinum blond hair, brilliant green eyes, curves like a country road, long shapely legs topped by a spectacular round ass, narrow waist and flat tummy, and impressively large breasts. She once told Tam that she's dated several men who were so enamored with her breasts it took them weeks to discover that she was blond.

The reason why Tam loves her stood next to Karole, Tam's brother Trung. He's tall, athletic, handsome, and has had horrible luck with women. Tam knows Karole however, and Karole is a good match for Trung, she won't treat him as horribly as Trung's ex-wife treated him.

"Hi sweetie!" Tam cried as she hugged the amazon goddess. "How's my little brother treating you?" Even though Trung is well taller than Tam's five foot five, she's four years older than him and earned her doctorate five years before he earned his. Tam is Matriarch-In-Training of the Nguyen family and sometimes her five siblings need to be reminded of that fact.

"He's being mean to me," whined Karole. "He won't let me lead when we..." she cleared her throat to let Tam know the next word was a euphemism, "dance."

"She needs to relax," said Trung as he ran his hands around Karole's waist from behind and hugged her tight. "There will be plenty of time to dance in the future."

"Promises, promises," groaned the southern belle, then she cheered up, "Jake! How ya doin!"

"I'm doing very well, thank you. Let me get a good look at you."

Karole knew full well that Jake sees with his fingers, and a look at her would probably include a long, lingering "glance" at her breasts. "Ah'm not feelin' quite well rat now Jake, maybe next time."

"Come on lover boy," said Tam, "let's go sit down." Jake unfolded his walking stick and began swinging it side to side as they moved to their table. Even though Tam was leading him, he needed the walking stick to assure himself that there were no obstacles in his way as Karole led them to their table. Karole led them through the dining room and into the house that was attached to the restaurant, and into a small room that was once used as Tam's brother's bedroom. The room now contained a table and two bench seats that made a booth like the booths in the dining room, and it also contained four high quality speakers that were playing back ambient restaurant sounds.

Tam's youngest brother, Bao, is a guitar player and the sound engineer for a local band and at Tam's request he made a recording of the restaurant sounds recently and now the little room was filled with the sounds of people eating and having muffled conversations. A live feed of an easy listening music station was mixed in with the ambient sounds which helped lend an air of authenticity and it drowned out details of the conversations. Tam closed her eyes and listened for a moment as Jake sat down, it sounded perfect, and to her untrained nose it smelled right too, the staff of the restaurant had been eating their break time meals here for years. She smiled and gave Karole a silent thumbs up. "Is it comfortable dear?" Tam asked her victim-to-be.

Jake nudged the table to the proper distance from his seat, he will only sit in a booth if he can adjust the table. Tam isn't sure if he truly needs to adjust the table, or if he just prefers having control over it. "This is fine," said Jake.

"Slide in," said Tam as she sat next to Jake and hip bumped him over with a playful nudge and grab.

"Your server will be here in a moment," said Karole, and she didn't leave, she wanted to watch the fun. She moved to the side and Don Campbell, Tam's brother-in-law who works here part time as one of the cooks stepped into the room and sat two glasses of ice water in front on Tam and Jake.

"I have a special menu for you tonight," said Don as he set out silverware and napkins. "For an appetizer we have gỏi cuốn with fresh nuoc cham..."

"Spring rolls with sweet fish oil dipping sauce," Tam translated. She was surprised how well Don's Vietnamese pronunciation has gotten over the years.

"For the main course we have phở chiên phồng...

"Puffed fried noodles," said Tam quietly.

"I picked up this recipe in Colorado, I was told that it came straight from Hanoi, and I'm teaching the kitchen staff how to cook it tonight," said Don. "You will be my first victims... er... customers."

"You fill me with so much hope Donald," said Jake knowing full well that Don's full name is Donovon.

"That's why I'm here Jacob," said Don knowing full well that Jake's full name is Jake. It's a game the brothers-in-law have played since they met a decade and a half ago. Their wives think it's verbal sparring, but some day the girls will learn that it's their way of telling each other "I love you," without having to say, "I love you."

After Don left, Tam began describing their booth to her husband, and most of what she said to Jake was true. "We're very isolated, but close to the kitchen," she said then whispered in his ear, "nobody can see us, there's a very high wall isolating this area, and we're all alone in it."

"I can hear them," said Jake. This room shares a wall with the dining room but it's doubtful he's hearing anyone over there. Knowing full well that Tam wanted privacy, Karole has been seating customers far from that adjoining wall.

"They'd have to get up on their table and peek over the wall to see us," said Tam, failing to mention that they'd have to punch a hole in the ceiling also. Tam noticed that she could hear the footsteps of the people on the old wooden floor of the building which added to the illusion. "This is nice," said Tam as she stroked Jake's cheek, pulling him close and nibbling on his ear lobe. "We need to get a babysitter more often," she whispered and pulled him in for a kiss. All these years and her kisses were still as passionate as when they first dated.

A waitress gently cleared her throat, and they broke their kiss quickly. "Sorry," said Tam, "it's kind of a special night."

"You usually have a whole flock of boys," said the waitress. "What's the occasion?"

"We found a babysitter that would take them," said Jake as the waitress set out the spring rolls, dipping sauces and small plates.

"That's always a reason to celebrate," said the waitress before leaving. "Enjoy!"

"Oh, we will!" Tam showed Jake where the spring rolls and the dipping sauces were placed. "This is all finger food," said Tam, "don't be afraid to dig in. Just don't get the peanut butter in the sweet fish sauce." They enjoyed their appetizer and laughed together like they did fifteen years ago when they took her parents out to dinner. That was the evening that Jake surprised Tam by asking Tam's father for his blessing to marry his oldest daughter. That was a busy, whirlwind spring because Tam's youngest sister was getting married in just two months and her dad was overwhelmed with everything. But her dad was pleasant and when dad consented, Jake immediately turned, knelt, and proposed to Tam right there in the restaurant. That was fifteen years ago come Tuesday, but tonight is close enough for a celebration.

As they finished their spring rolls, Don brought their entrée and placed it on the table with a cheery "Here you go, I am sure that you're going to love this." He placed their dishes on the table and picked up their plates from the appetizers. Tam noticed that Don also left a large Asian style spoon.

"It looks delicious!" gushed Tam.

"I'll leave you two alone, shout if you need any help," he grinned. Tam shot Don a withering look, even seventeen years after he started dating Lanh, she still considers him her kid brother. Clearly, he figured out most of her plan and his smirk showed it.

"Thank you, but I'm sure we will be fine," said Tam as Don closed the door. Years ago, her brothers put pads on the door frame to prevent the door from making an audible noise when closed so they could slip out for a late-night date or early morning hockey practice without waking the family. Don now closed the door, then took a necktie out of his pocket and looped it over the doorknob.

Karole smirked and said quietly, "When I was in college, we used a nylon stocking. I suppose you being married an' all, ya didn't need no such thing."

"Au contraire mon ami." As they headed back to the kitchen Don told Karole of how his wife secretly lived in the military dorm with him on Kunsan Air Base for a week. Meanwhile Tam was describing the dish that Don brought to Jake.

"Imagine stir fried beef, tomatoes, onions, peppers and herbs piled up on a bed of pizza rolls."

"Pizza rolls?" That's a plus, pizza rolls are the one meal that Jake can make, and the boys love it.

"Yes, these are wide pho noodles that are fried rather than boiled. When they are fried, they puff up like a little sopapilla and are the same size and color as pizza rolls."

"Sopapilla?" That's a plus, sopapilla are a favorite snack, hopefully Don left a bottle of honey.

Here, open up, it's not too hot... taste." Tam had taken a puffed-up pho noodle and held it up to Jake's mouth. His teeth crunched down on the hollow nugget and his eyebrows shot up.

"That's amazing. It's delicious, I wasn't expecting much flavor being a noodle."

"It's made of rice; you're used to wheat noodles. Let's try this..." Tam bit the end off of another noodle and using her chopsticks she filled it with stir fried beef. "Here, try this..."

"That's incredible!" he said around a mouthful of the concoction.

"Yeah, your brother-in-law is quite the cook. Eventually the pho noodles will soak up the juice and lose their crunch, they won't be as much fun, but they'll taste incredible. Here, Don brought you a spoon if you want to use it."

"Spoon..." Jake groused, it was difficult enough to eat anything besides soup and he felt that a spoon was for soup only. Eating dinner was a learned skill, a blind person had to memorize where everything is on his or her plate, feel around with the fork and knife to discover the orientation of everything, and keep all of that in mind - potato at twelve o'clock, pork chop at four o'clock, carrots at nine o'clock, Asian food messes with that order of things, food is cut and mixed together with sauces and gravies... he can end up wearing more than he ate. Jake likes cutting his food, as a child he learned that skill at the blind school he went to, and it made him feel accomplished when he showed his skill to his parents. Their depression at having a blind child evaporated and they saw hope for Jake's future just from that one skill.

Jake tried to scoop up a noodle, but it rolled off of his fork and to make matters worse, it was so light he didn't realize it before he put an empty fork into his mouth. "Try the chopsticks," advised Tam as she tucked his napkin into his collar as a bib. She knew that Jake liked chopsticks for the way they transferred the tactile feel of the foods, but he still has problems with the round objects like cherry tomatoes. He grabbed a noodle, but he crushed the crunchy, fragile morsel and only ended up with a shard trapped between his chopsticks. His fingers strayed to the spoon, but he didn't want to admit defeat.

"Here, open wide," said Tam and she fed him another noodle that she stuffed with meat and greens. "I'm using my fingers, you can use yours, nobody is going to see us."

"I'll just use the spoon, if I can find it."

"It's right there, your right hand is on it," said Tam.

"This is a spoon?"

Tam chuckled, "The first time I met Don, Lanh brought this skinny little nerd with her here. He recently had the crap beaten out of him and he couldn't identify the spoon either, he thought it was a spoon holder. His dad used one for that."

Jake examined the contour of the Asian spoon and realized that it would make a nice spoon holder. As he explored it Tam continued, "You got the hang of the chopsticks, take a pho noodle in your left hand, bite the end off, then fill it with your chopsticks."

"I don't know..."

"If we were in Hanoi, there would be people doing that in the restaurants," she insisted. Jake groused some more and gave it a try and found that he could do that and soon was inexpertly filling noodle puffs with meat and vegetables.

"That's good," Jake finally admitted. "Did our Minnesota farm boy make it as good as you had in Hanoi?"

Tam thought back to six years ago when she went on a sabbatical to Vietnam and first had puffed pho. "I honestly think it's better here. Our chef is using the exact same recipe that is used over there, but everything has a different taste overseas. Maybe it's the water which makes everything tastes slightly different, maybe it's the soil."

"Could it be the flavor of the spices used?" asked Jake as he stuffed another noodle. He was starting to get the hang of this.

"I noticed a difference in the flavor of the beef itself, I noticed that in Germany too. I think the soil flavors the grass that the cows eat which flavors the meat..." Then whispering in his ear, she grabbed his crotch and gave his "package" a gentle squeeze as she said, "I prefer the taste of domestic meat."

Jake almost choked on his mouthful of phở chiên phồng. This wasn't the Doctor Tam Nguyen that he knew, staid, serious woman of letters, chair of the psychology department. Nor was this the Tam Johnson that he knew, mother, wife, guardian angel. Neither of those women would consider sex play in a crowded restaurant, divider wall or no. As they ate, her topic of conversation got spicier than their entrée, and soon Jake had the distinct feeling that he was the entrée she had most in mind.

As they ate, Jake noticed that Tam was struggling with something. He reached over to touch her, and he realized that her arm was bare. She was wearing a silk blouse with a mid-length sleeve, but now she wasn't wearing a sleeve, not only was her arm bare, but so was her shoulder. His fingers traced from her shoulder downward... she had taken off her blouse... and her bra! "Eat your supper," she said in her Mom Voice.

"I'm just looking," he said, as the realization hit - his wife was sitting topless in a public restaurant! Dinner was forgotten as he began to "look" at his wife. His fingers gently traced around her nearest breast, a perfect handful, just the right size to cup in his hand, but right now he was "looking," and his middle finger slowly traced 'round and 'round her hardening nipple.

Tam nudged his hand away with a shrug of her elbow. "Eat!" she growled, but his inquisitive fingers had stoked the fires that were lit much earlier. Damn those fingers! She's never experienced such a touch as that! So gentle, so expressive, so perfect... "just looking" always lit fires in her whether he intended to or not.

"Why did you take your blouse off?"

"I didn't want to get anything on it," she replied.

"You're a very neat eater, what would get on your blouse?"

"Your hands."

Jake tried to concentrate on eating this delicious meal but the thought of his wife sitting topless next to him made small talk difficult. "Did you pack clothes for the boys? They're sure to get wet playing in the snow."

"Yes. I also sent pajamas with them."

"Wonderful!" Jake loved his sons, and he treasured every moment with them, but an evening with just Tam in the house, an evening when they can make love and cry out as loudly as they want was a rare treat indeed. Jakes fingers trailed down her breast again, gently tracing the contour, then again circling her hard nipple.

He felt her shudder with excitement as his fingertips circled her nipples. He felt those delightful nubs harden even more and she shuddered from the sensation. "What..." Tam demanded quietly. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm done with dinner; I'm just "watching" you eat." His gentle touch traced from her tingling breast up her throat to her chin. His fingertips traced over her chin and lips lighting fires inside her with every stroke of his fingers then back down to her trembling breasts.

"My mouth is up here," she responded.

"Yeah, but your tits are down here."

Chuckling silently, she didn't want him to know that his wise-ass comments amuse her occasionally, Tam pushed the table away. "I guess it's time for dessert." With motions smoothed by years of martial arts training she was suddenly straddling his lap. They kissed fiercely as the sound of other diners and easy rock music filled the air around them. Forks clanked against dishes, somber Minnesotans tried slurping their pho noodles quietly and failing miserably, Tam even heard glasses being set on tables and muffled conversations. The audio track sounded perfect to Tam, with her eyes closed she was sitting in the middle of a busy restaurant topless, people sat around them enjoying their dinner and completely unaware that the daughter of the restaurant owners was sitting mere inches from them, bare breasted, taunting and teasing her husband.

Jakes hands explored Tam's flawless skin pausing only when Tam pulled his shirt up over his chin. Jake started to make sounds of protest, but he was overruled when Tam said, "Just be quiet and nobody will notice." She held him helpless, his arms over his head tangled in his polo shirt, and with a wicked chuckle she lowered a trembling nipple to his mouth.

Blind, helpless, and terrified that they'd be discovered, Jake succumbed to his wife's ministrations. He was well aware that Tam would never do something like this if there was a danger of being discovered... would she? There was something different about her tonight... When he felt her hard nipple brush against his lips, his concerns of discovery evaporated and he did what anyone else would do, he open his mouth and began to suckle on her teat. As her little gasps of pleasure encouraged him, Jake began to get bolder. He bit, he nipped, he did so many things that brough stifled gasps of pleasure from Tam who was truly enjoying her turn at dominance.

Now she pulled back giving her right nipple a rest and fed him her left pap and as he pleasured her again, she began to coo and sigh as he relentlessly slobbered and slavered over her breast. "Oh God," she gasped, her fingers curling in his dark hair, holding him to his task, her other hand clutched his wadded-up polo shirt still tangled in his arms. She had him helpless and they both loved every moment of it. "You're making me so wet!" she whispered.

Jake shuddered in surprise, Tam has never said anything like this to him! What has gotten into this woman? Was it the thrill of possibly being caught?

Tam decided to return the favor, she pulled her breast free of her suckling mouth and crouched down a bit. In the dim light of the room, she found his nipple and began to flick her tongue over his small pap, each flick of her tongue over his teat brought a sharp twitch of reaction and gasp of delight from her husband. Knowing that his nipples were highly sensitive to stimulation from her tongue, she was merciless. With his hairy chest (a huge turn-on to Tam who grew up seeing her brothers' hairless chests) it was sometimes hard to locate his nipple with her lips and tongue, but his gasp of pleasure always let her know when she struck paydirt.

She trapped his nipple between her teeth and began to flick her tongue over his ultra-sensitive teat causing him to jerk with the sudden rush of pleasure that came with each flick of her tongue. She released his trapped arms and as her mouth pleasured one of his tiny nipples, she pinched the other with her left hand.

Now free, his hands slid up and down her back and every time she flicked her tongue on his nipple his hands grasped her sides. Soon he grasped her head holding her to her task as the experience became more erotically supercharged. Past experience had taught Tam that he was getting close to the point where her teasing of his nipples became too much for him. Soon pleasure would become pain and the game would be over for Jake.

"That's enough of that," Tam hissed in his ear, "I want your cock."

Again, Jake gasped in shock as Tam slid to the floor. She rarely ever said the word cock, did he do something to bring that on? He wasn't complaining, he just wanted to know so he could do it more often.

Trembling hands wrestled with his belt, why won't this thing open when you need it most? With a comical growl she pried open his belt and opened his pants. "Lift up!" came the Mom Voice again and he obeyed. There was no way he could have not obeyed, his desire now matched hers and he raised his ass up off the bench cushions and she tugged down his trousers allowing his cock to spring free and slap against his stomach.

She caressed his cock gently with her hand and licked and sucked eliciting groans, but this was her dream, something she always wanted to do, a quickie in her parents' restaurant and now she had the courage to do it. Especially now that it included sweet revenge on Jake. His cock was hard, and throbbing and his hands grasped her head, guiding her mouth over his cock and balls. Normally she would let him direct the action, but this was her plan, this was what she wanted to do, so she brushed his hands away.

"Mine!" was all she said, and her tongue took command. It ran up and down the length of his cock, licking and lapping, fluttering over the sensitive underside, dancing around the head leaving Jake in a moaning heap. "Ssshhh!" she warned, almost afraid of disturbing the diners that were recorded weeks ago, then she plunged her mouth down on his cock taking half of his length eliciting a grateful groan of bliss from her husband.

Jake was beside himself with pleasure, it's been ages since Tam gave him a blowjob like this, and in a public place too! He tried to stifle the groans as she took a bit more cock into her throat with each gulp and he was sure she was reaching virgin territory in her throat with the head of his cock. "I'm getting close darling," he whispered as the sensations became overpowering.

She pulled his cock from her mouth and whispered, "Not before I get mine," which shocked Jake even more. He had to make sure this was Tam and not her crazy sister Kim-ly. It was Tam that climbed up onto his lap, spread out her skirt covering their laps then reached under and lined up his saliva slick cock with her pussy and slowly sank down on him. He would know that pussy anywhere.

She loved being on top and she loved the fact that he loved her being on top also. That delicious feeling of being stretched and opened up, of being penetrated and being the person controlling the penetration. Slowly she eased down, taking him bit by bit until she was full. There's no time to revel in the feeling, and Tam began to raise and lower on his cock. It was so good, if she closed her eyes and listened to the soundtrack that Bao made for them, she felt like they were in a crowded dining room; the smells the sounds, and a hard cock skewering her pussy, it was all too good. The sensation of being unnoticed in a crowd as she fucked her husband overwhelmed Tam and she was cumming long before Jake was ready.

She began bouncing herself on his cock, her breasts rubbing against his chest dragging her sensitive nipples up and down over his hairy chest. This was perfect, this is what a fourteen-year-old Tam dreamed of back then, forbidden lovemaking with a man she adored in her father's busy restaurant. "God, I love you," she gasped as her orgasm crested. Her love for this man exploded in her heart as the sexy, smokey lyrics and beat of Fleetwood Mac filled the room...

Sweet wonderful you

You make me happy with the things you do

Oh, can it be so?

This feeling follows me where ever I go...

Jake wasn't far behind, and as her orgasm faded, his overwhelmed him and he came in her with a strangled cry of delight. His hips arching upwards, skewering her on his throbbing cock as the most powerful orgasm that he's ever had short circuited his brain. All of his concerns over being caught by the restaurant staff evaporated in a cloud of passion and nothing could have stopped Jake from continuing to fuck Tam. His stifled grunts of passion were just what Tam wanted to hear. Soon his restrained groans became sighs as they both recovered from an amazing quickie. They rested, panting heavily as they clutched each other, their minds overwhelmed in the passion they shared and the love they felt for each other.

Tam could feel his cock slowly soften and slide out of her and as always something in her head said, "Mission accomplished!" She loved getting him hard just to be able to "cure" the condition. They've been lovers for sixteen years, husband and wife for almost fifteen of those years and it's still wonderful.

As Tam sighed in delight, Jake was beginning to return to his worries, what if the waitress comes by to see if they would like something else? What was she going to say if she found them lounging half naked is post coital bliss with everything but the stereotypical cigarette?

Now was the time. As they reveled in exhausted, half-dressed delight, Tam reached out and clicked the switch that turned off the speakers. Near absolute silence descended on the room and Tam cheerily called out "April Fools!" Jakes startled expression was great, but this wasn't full payback, she still had her Big Bomb to spring on him.

"Huh?" Jake looked shocked, "What do you mean?" and then he smiled as she explained her prank.

"We're not really in the dining area, we're in Huy and Trung's old bedroom behind a locked door. Bao made a loop tape of ambient restaurant noises." She flicked the switch back on and they were back in the restaurant. She wriggled on their sodden laps, proud of herself for pulling one over on Jake finally. "I got something else to blow your mind," her grin faded. It was time for the Big Bomb and what if he said no? That's not something she could take; how could she live with herself if he said no? She would have to say goodbye...

"Wait, before you say something, I've got some news that you really need to hear."

"Ok, sure..." she was sure that it was nothing compared to the Big Bomb she was going to drop on him. It didn't matter what it was, even if he was going to announce that the University was closing and they lost both their jobs, she still had her Big Bomb and the memory of the greatest April Fool's Day in Minnesota history. She closed her eyes fighting back the tears wondering what she was thinking when she planned this entire evening.

She felt his fingers on her face trying to discern her expression. "This is important," he whispered softly.

"Ok, just say it." She felt the terror welling up inside of her.

"I don't know how to say it other than to say it..." Jake took a deep breath and said, "You're pregnant, we're going to have a baby."

"Wait... What? How... how would you know?" Nothing he could have said would have shocked her more. She sat on his lap in shock, their juices still mingling, and she stared at her husband in slack jawed disbelief.

"When I was uh... "looking at" your breasts I noticed your Montgomery tubercles..." He looked almost sad to say it. "I noticed that they were enlarged, for you that only happens when you're pregnant. It happened with each of the boys."

"My what?"

"The little bumps around your nipples, they're sebaceous glands called Montgomery tubercles... I just noticed them tonight..." his voice trailed off. She was glaring at him but that's what she gets for marrying a blind voracious reader with a highly developed sense of touch. He couldn't see a lot of things, but he could feel them all... including her expression. "What was your news dear?" he asked almost apologetically.

She ran her fingers around her nipples, she couldn't feel them, but she did notice them in the mirror yesterday when she checked her breasts for lumps... How could he tell? Those fingers of his could even feel these soft little bumps? Amazing... Oh well, might as well come clean... time for the Big Bomb...

"Ummm, yeah. I'm pregnant. We're going to have a baby." She had the home pregnancy test in her purse in case he wanted proof... proof he couldn't see, how come she thought of that now? And somehow Jake defused the Big Bomb.

"No! You're just kidding me! That's taking April Fool's Day a bit too far!" he grinned and he hugged his dearest love tight. "Is it a girl?" His face was covered with a real grin, true joy welled up in his heart, maybe the daughter they've been praying for this time!

"You goof," she laughed as she hugged her husband. They had so many things to worry about, they were both over forty, he was blind and couldn't take her to the hospital, they already have three boys and a thousand other reasons not to have another child, but there they were, just as giddy as newlyweds with the news of their first.

You make loving fun

(It's all I wanna do)

They were going to be ok... all six of them, her, Jake, three boys, and Little Unknown are going to be fine.